Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Kyle Boller – Cosmo Boy

December 10, 2009


Any of you who, like me, have as your homepage, woke up to the image of Kyle “Ray Liotta” Boller’s smiling face this morning. Kyle, who has dated such stars as Tara Reid (barf) in the past, and is now reportedly with Miss USA 2009 runner-up Carrie Prejean, shared some tips with Cosmopolitan Magazine for all you aspiring ladies’ men.


Kind of seems more like a tip for the ladies that want to get with Kyle (“don’t smoke”) than advice for other dudes. Well played, Mr. Boller.


Top 10 Reasons to be THANKFUL We're not Pittsburgh Fans

November 25, 2009


Heinz Mudcastle

Ketchup-Mush Field

Heinz Field is the biggest piece of Crap football playing surface left in the NFL. Maybe instead of producing all of those damn Terrible Towels they could spend some money on putting together a field that’s just slightly better than the pile of dirt I played in growing up.  Or at least use those towels to sop up some of the mud.


Pittsburgh Logos

Same Color Unis.

It’s bad enough that everyone else has to see that stupid black and gold for the Squealer fans, but to be as unimaginative as to have all of your teams dress in the same color unis?  Pssssshhhh…lame.  At least the Penguins have those sweet powder blue jerseys.



Terry Badshaw (see what I did there /poke poke)

Career Numbers: 212 TDs, 210 Ints; 51.9 Completion %, 70.9 Passer Rating.  What. The. Fudge?

Seriously… those numbers are terrible.  Here are all the QBs this season who have a worse completion % than Terry’s career average: JaMarcus Russell, Derek Anderson.  That’s it.

Not enough you say?  Here are all the QBs this season who have a worse Passer Rating than Baldy McBlond put together: Marc Bulger, Brady Quinn, Matthew Stafford, Jake Delhomme, Kerry Collins, Mark Sanchez, JaMarcus Russell, Derek Anderson.  Their teams have a combined 12 wins with them at the helm this season.

Bradshaw gets so much credit for being on those Super Bowl teams when it is clear that Trent Edwards or Shaun Hill could easily have outperformed him if playing for the Steelers.  I’m glad my team history isn’t saturated with this backwater hillbilly asshole.


Steely Mc-Insert Gay Slur Here

Steely McBeam

Do I need to rant on this one… here I’ll let you finish my thoughts…

“I haven’t seen anything this gay since _________”

What the Fat?

No Cheerleaders

Come on really?  Even Fox and CBS can find some Michael Tafoya to throw down to the sideline during game day.  Is the “talent” in Pittsburgh that bad that they can’t put together a squad of 25 decent looking girls?  (<-That question is rhetorical)  I mean, I’d be willing to bet Philly has enough leftovers to throw your way Pittsburgh.


No Wardrobe

Am I the only one who ever notices this?  Everywhere I go, no matter the month, day of week, time of day, venue of the moment… I find people wearing Steelers clothes.  Holy Cow Turd.  How is this possible?  Are you seriously that pathetic you have nothing else to wear?

I feel like these people are everywhere.  Walking their dogs, getting on planes, even church.  Maybe their Xmas wish list should consist of normal clothing.



Troy/Ben Media Bromance

I am so damn sick and tired of hearing how awesome these players are.  Every pre-game, “so what do you think about the Steelers Game today?”

“Well if Troy and Ben play…”  Give me an effin break, what does their whole team just explode without them?  “Oh no Troy and Ben are out?  Well gang, we knew this day would come, on the count of 3 everyone hit their Self-Destruct button… 3. KABLAMMO!!!!”  Is the movie 2012 secretly about Pittsburgh and the Steelers when “Troy and Ben” leave?   And have you noticed that unlike the other 1553 NFL players, these two only have first names?  Really people? You would think that these were the only two players on the team.  Enough already.


Bandwagon Fans.

This had potential #1 written all over it.  If I were a TRUE Steelers fan – from the Pittsburgh area, my parents loved them, their parents liked them and their parents were bandwagon jumpers when they came into the league (of course average life span of Pittsburgh residents back then was probably about 30) – I’d be choking on my french fry sandwich in anger if all the sudden I turned around and every where I go there are 37,839,302,571 “Steelers fans” wearing Super Bowl Forty-Blahblah t-shirts on underneath their “Ben” jerseys.

That bandwagon is FULL people! Get off, and get off quickly, especially since, in case you didn’t hear, the movie 2012 is about the Steelers.


Steeler Fans

“Real” Steeler Fans



That’s how I would feel if I were a Steeler fan looking at our fan base.  There is no better reason to be thankful… except!!!!


Jeff Reed

Jeff Reed

Wait?  What’s wrong with Jeff Reed?

You’re just jealous cause your kicker was never a bride-to-be!

Your kicker can’t party like Jeff Reed!

He can’t rip paper towel dispensers off the wall like Jeff Reed!

Your kicker doesn’t have mirror self pics like Jeff Reed!

And your kicker can’t even come close to tackling like Jeff Reed (:29 seconds in)!

And with that, we’d like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all you Nestgoers!  Sure, being a Ravens fan is tough sometimes…but it could be so much worse.

Barry Levinson Plays Like a Raven

October 14, 2009


Last night I, as I’m sure many of you did also, had the pleasure to watch Barry Levinson’s documentary, “The Band That Wouldn’t Die.” The 60-minute film, part of ESPN’s “30 for 30” documentary series, was a wonderful depiction of Baltimore’s loss of the Colts, and subsequent years of futile efforts to get the NFL back in town, using the Baltimore Colts Marching Band as a centerpiece. (See trailers and rebroadcast schedule information here)

This piece was the absolute best that I’ve ever seen on the subject. Head and shoulders above what ESPN did last year with their “Greatest Game Ever Played” documentary on the 1958 NFL Championship, and better still than any short 5-10 minute segments that local B’More channels have put together in the last 25 years.

I am 27 years old. I have no memory of the Baltimore Colts. I’ve heard the stories countless times, and at this point I fell pretty squarely in the “get over it” category regarding the Colts’ move to Indianapolis. The way Levinson told the story though, really articulated, better than anyone ever has, what losing the Colts meant to Charm City. I had heard stories about Robert Irsay – he was a drunk, an idiot, a lunatic. However, I wouldn’t have known the guy from Adam, had you shown me his picture. The footage Levinson included, of Irsay being too drunk to open the door at BWI Airport, and his subsequent expletive-filled press conference/tirade/tongue-lashing of the Baltimore media, during which he declared that he had no intentions of “moving the god damned team,” was something I had never before seen. I know now why my father’s and grandfathers’ blood boils at the mere mention of the name Irsay. I understand why it seems like so many in Baltimore are unable to “get over it,” despite having a great new NFL team to root for. And I HATE that drunken moron more than I ever have, for denying me the opportunity to root for the same team that men in my family and city did for 30 years.

As I heard one radio announcer put it today, (and I’m paraphrasing) “it’s like losing a family member. Everyone loses family members, but that doesn’t mean you love new additions to your family any less. Such is it with Baltimore and the Colts and Ravens.”

The story of the Baltimore Colts Marching Band, their 13 years of limbo, and their re-branding as Baltimore’s Marching Ravens, is a tale of civic pride and love that should be required viewing for any fan, of any sport, in any city.

If you didn’t catch it the first time around, make sure to clear your schedule or set your DVR for one of the times listed at the above link. You’ll be glad you did.

Thank you, Barry Levinson.

The Omnipresent Derrick Mason

October 5, 2009

Remember last December when the NFL Network crew screwed up and put Derrick Mason’s headshot on Roy Williams of the Cowboys’ name? (here is our post showing it in case you forgot)

Well, it seems that D-Mase was so caught up in all the hype surrounding the Favre vs. Packers matchup tonight, that he just couldn’t stay away, as he is moonlighting this season as not Roy Williams, but as former Raven Derrick Martin.


Hopefully Mason can get some inside information on the Packers and Vikings, two teams on the Ravens’ schedule later this season.

Fathead Adds New Ravens Graphics

September 22, 2009

From the “in case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas” department:

After about 4 years of only offering Ray Lewis and the Ravens logo/helmet, the guys over at Fathead have finally stepped it up and added some more options for Ravens fans.

Although the Fathead commercials have been showing him on the wall like he was available for years, up until this point you could not get an Ed Reed Fathead. This situation has been remedied.


Also now available is everybody’s favorite single-browed QB, Joe Flacco.


My Ravens room just so happens to have an empty wall at the moment, so head on over to and give back for all this free entertainment I provide to all of you.

I kid.

Unless, you know, you want to.

Ravens 31 Chargers 26 (The THANK YOU RAY AND NORV Game)

September 21, 2009

With a hit that he personally described as one of the greatest of his career, Ray Lewis put an exclamation point on a Ravens west coast victory that will go down as one of the most exciting games in purple history.

Seriously – watch that hit again.

Whether in the bar, the living room, the den, or at Qualcomm Stadium for a lucky few, an entire fan base exploded as #52 crashed through the line of scrimmage to end San Diego’s hopes of a comeback win. Actually, on the telecast, it was tough to tell immediately which player it was that made the game winning hit, but in reality…did you ever really have a doubt? Was there an iota of surprise when you saw that it was Ray Ray who took matters into his own hands? Certainly not.

It was a fitting end that the man who has been dazzling us with his play for 14 years now would be the one to finally let us all put down the Pepto Bismol bottles that we had been clutching ever since Darren Sproles ran 81 yards untouched in the first quarter to put the Bolts up 7-0. As we mentioned here Friday, Sproles WAS GOING TO MAKE PLAYS, the Ravens just had to limit the number of times he was able to do so. As evidenced by his 278 all-purpose yards (124 receiving, 26 rushing, 128 return), Diminutive Darren did indeed run wild on the Ravens.

And it wasn’t just Sproles that had a field day. Philip Rivers’ stats jump out like a sore thumb:

25/45 436 yards 2 TD 2 INT

Basically, the mismatch that we all feared, Chargers’ big WRs vs. the Ravens’ small CBs, was exploited by San Diego all day. With Ladainian Tomlinson and two starting offensive linemen out, Norv Turner decided he wasn’t going to waste time trying to establish any sort of ground game, and would just air it all all day.

And air it out they did.

Until it really mattered.

Turner’s decision to run on 4th-and-2 from the Ravens’ 15 with 37 seconds remaining in the game is the kind of thing that would have me absolutely calling for his head if I had a closet full of pewter blue jerseys. You’ve thrown for 436 yards, you need TWO…and you’re…RUNNING?!

Game. Set. Match. Ravens. Thanks for having us.

Add that to his other bone-headed calls, including kicking a FG on 3rd-and-goal with 10 seconds to go in the first half, and you pretty much sum up Norv Turner’s head coaching career.


As far as that torched Ravens’ secondary goes, well…as John Harbaugh so eloquently put it, “we need to get better.” Gee, ya think? Fabian Washington and Dominique Foxworth had atrocious days, and safety Dawan Landry, while stout against the run, was nowhere to be found in pass coverage (unless, of course, you count “getting ran by like you’re standing still,” being “found.”) Rivers seemed to be avoiding Ed Reed on purpose, and with the kind of success he was having doing so, who can blame him? Frank Walker, filling in on the final drive for Washington, who had sustained a head injury, and who prompted me to say aloud as he took the field, “Frank Walker is going to lose this game for us,” actually had a game-SAVING play when he knocked the ball from Legedu Naanee’s grasp near the goal line on 1st down of the critical final series.

Foxworth marginally redeemed himself with two passes defensed in the 4th quarter, one of which ended up in the hands of Antwan Barnes and led to a key FG that put the Ravens up by five. Honestly, though, Foxworth could have easily been flagged for pass interference on the latter, when he got to Antonio Gates a split second before the ball did.

The secondary was bad, no question about it. Some of the blame has to lie at the feet of the defensive line though, who only sacked Rivers twice all day, despite the Chargers’ banged up O-line. They applied some decent pressure in spurts, but there were far too many “almost got ‘ims,” and not nearly enough “got ims.” Defensive coordinator Greg Mattison needs to figure out a way to get some more pressure, and quickly.

On a day where Rex Ryan’s New York Jets held the New England Patriots without an offensive touchdown (the Jets have yet to allow one all year), my preseason assertion that losing Rex was really no big deal as long as Ray, Ed, and Sizzle are around was feeling a bit empty, to say the least.

Turning the page to happier conversation…how about that Ravens offense?

Did any of you, like me, find yourself feeling like you were living in some sort of “Twilight Zone” alternate reality watching the game yesterday? The Ravens defense takes the field, and my stomach knots up…Joe Flacco and crew jog on, and I’m relaxed as can be. Down is up, up is down, what the hell is going on here?!

Flacco’s calm demeanor just seems to permeate our television sets and put us all at ease. Willis McGahee looks better than he ever has since coming to Baltimore, Ray Rice continues to develop into a great open-space weapon, Le’Ron McClain keeps chugging for the sticks on every 3rd-and-short, Todd Heap has 1 touchdown less through 2 games than he had in all of 2008, and “Groovin” Kelley Washington has emerged as a a legitimate #3 wide out.

After two games, the Baltimore Ravens are second to only the New Orleans Saints in points per game, and that is with the help of exactly ZERO points scored by the purple defense and/or special teams. Strange days indeed in the Land of Pleasant Living, my friends.

With a tip of the cap to (not so) old, faithful #52, the “Bottom Line,” is that the Ravens are 2-0, which looks a hell of a lot better than 1-1.

Kelley Washington's Grooves – You Down?

September 16, 2009

When the Ravens picked up wide receiver Kelley Washington this offseason, you may remember that we posted the above video as evidence of what to expect with No. 15 in town. Now, the above celebration was done after Washington scored a touchdown; however, in Sunday’s opener against Kansas City, Washington caught a 22-yard pass from Joe Flacco for a first down just about 2.5 minutes into a scoreless game…and began to shake and gyrate “like he had stuck his finger in an electric socket,” to paraphrase one complainer I heard yesterday.

There are two sides to this argument, and honestly I can see the valid points from both.

“It’s just a game, and harmless fun”

This is the school of thought that says that Kelley wasn’t trying to show up the Chiefs, or be overly cocky, he was instead just trying to feed off the energy from the crowd, and inject some of his own. If you think the NFL is really starting to stand for the “No Fun League,” and you cringe whenever Roger Goodell hands out another fine for end zone celebrations, you probably see no problem with Washington’s antics. You loved when Joe Horn busted out the sharpie cell phone, Chad Ochocinco using the end zone pylon as a putter, and think T.O. should be an honorary member of the cheerleading squad. It’s not taunting, its just fun.

“Act like you’ve been there before!”

Those that fall into this camp absolutely hate celebratory dances/taunts, especially when they come after anything less than a game-changing touchdown. You fully support bans on “props” during end zone celebrations, which you think there should be far fewer of anyway. You wish these players would just realize that, when they succeed, they are just doing what they are GETTING PAID TO DO! You don’t jump up and down in your boss’s office when you hand him your timesheet or latest TPS report, or when you close a sale, so why do these idiots think they have to show everybody up? Barry Sanders is probably your favorite running back of the last 20 years.

Like I said, its tough for me to pick a side here. When I was at the game Sunday, and Kelley danced, I (very white-ly) mimicked it, and it did indeed pump me up even more. I can also understand the argument that Mark Zinno of 105.7 had, which was that, if it were Hines Ward out there dancing like that against the Ravens, we would all be losing our collective shits over it. Likewise, if Washington does that against Pittsburgh, he can expect to quickly find himself planted 6 inches into the turf, courtesy of James Harrison.

So, what do you think? Should Kelley tone it down, should John Harbaugh make sure he does so, or should everybody just keep it light out there?

NestMinder + Nick-A-What!? = Championship Softball

August 12, 2009

During an off day, we figured it’d be fun to let you have a peek into the sporting lives of your favorite bloggers.

Here’s the team photo after our last game.  The end of a championship season that wound up with a 17-3 record.  Of course there is some photoshopping there,  but not everyone could make the game.  Heaver Bunters ’09!

Can you guess which players didn’t make it?

Trailer Released for "The Blind Side" (AKA "The Michael Oher Story")

August 4, 2009

Big ups to Glenn at WNST for posting this one.

“The Blind Side,” a novel chronicling the life of Ravens’ 2009 first round draft pick Michael Oher, has been made into a movie, and is set to be released this holiday season.  Here is the trailer:

Admittedly, I probably wouldn’t be too interested in this movie, were it not based upon the life of a player on my favorite team (looks like too much sap, not enough football).   But, it is, and I am.  It’s really quite cool when you think about it.  And even cooler is that Sandra Bullock will probably be closely following Michael’s career, and the Ravens.

Maybe we can get some shots of Sandra B. in nothing but on Oher jersey?  Or would that be weird, considering she plays his Mom in the movie?

Eh, we can dream, can’t we?

It's That Time of Year Again!

May 28, 2009

Time to head ‘downy o’shun’ for the annual Ravens Roost Convention!

If you’re a Ravens fan and you’ve never been to one of these, I have to tell you, you are missing the F out.  If you’ll be there too, keep an eye out for D.Baby and/or Nick-a-What?! and come have a beer with us (look for us anywhere you see Roost #65)!

For yous on the interwebs, my hangover and I will holla again on Tuesday.