Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Goob Reports on the Ravens' Surprising Cuts

July 27, 2011

Join us live in the B’More Birds’ Nest Newsroom as Woody Jones and Goob report on the latest shocking round of cuts from the Ravens.



July 21, 2011

Yup, still locked out.

Some reports indicate that this thing could end any moment.

Others say it’s nowhere near that close.

Then there’s shit like this, that just makes me want to punch myself in the groin repeatedly.

/Owners Room

Random rich asshole owner: Oh, ho hum, guvna, no reason to be in a big rush over this thing. Let’s sit down for a spot of tea, shall we?

Jerry Jones: Tea? That shit’s for queers. Unless you’re talkin’ Texas Tea. Black gold. You know what we got in Texasss? More than queers and steers, I don’t care what you dun’ herd. Herd, ya know? Like a big group of cattle.

Jerry Richardson: Hit me with that tea, boy. Let’s have a few gallons as a matter of fact. Followed up by some aquariums full of nice southern sweet tea. No hurry at all. Make these ungrateful slav…errrr, players sweat a little longer.

Bill Bidwill: I better not have to spend any damn money.

Steve Bisciotti: (lifts tanning goggles, looks up from sunbeam-drenched spot near the window) On the players? I’m afraid they’ll be getting a bit more, it seems.

Bidwill: Well yeah that, but I meant on the tea. Refreshments are free in these meetings right?

Richardson: They damn well better be! I’ll march straight down to the Mayor’s office and demand tax subsidies for all future refreshments in owner’s meetings!

All: (raise glasses of Earl Grey, sweet, and oil, respectively.) HEAR HEAR!

Bisciotti: Say, Jerry, can you rub some of that oil on my back? I hear it gives a bitchin’ bronze glow.

Jones: QUEER!

/end scene

For the love of all that is gridiron…END THIS.

Joe Flacco Holds Workout at his Wedding

July 11, 2011

Sure, the lockout is still dragging on, but that didn’t stop Joe Flacco from holding an impromptu workout at his knot-tying last weekend.

The bottle of champagne is a nice touch.

Seriously, how can you not love our quarterback?

There are some good comments on the Deadspin article, my favorite of which was about Flacco’s wife being very understanding not because of this photograph, but because Joe’s eyes were locked on Derrick Mason the entire ceremony.

Sounds about right.

Joe Flacco’s New Bride is a Very Understanding Woman (Deadspin)

Goob Grades the Ravens' Draft

May 2, 2011

I know you’ve all missed Goob here during his 3-month hiatus since we went to Dallas for Super Bowl XLV. Well, fear not, because he’s back and ready to hand out his version of “grades” for the Ravens’ 2011 draft picks.

What do you think of the Ravens’ picks? Let us know in the comments.

Buck Showalter Hates Glee

April 22, 2011

Buck was none too pleased with Wednesday night’s National Anthem performance at the Yard:

Something tells me he probably has a similar reaction when Nick Markakis is at the plate these days.

h/t Yahoo

Number One Yankees/Turkey Legs Fan

April 14, 2011

A buddy of mine posted this screencap  from last night’s Yanks-O’s debacle on Facebook.  It’s glorious.

Buck is Making Himself Right at Home in O's Dugout

April 8, 2011

The man looks downright comfortable in those O’s digs, no?

Also, if you think I’m not going to milk every last ounce of joy and schadenfreude out of this while I still can, you’re crazy:

Buck yeah.

B'More Birds' Nest at the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl

February 10, 2011

As our week of Super Bowl XLV videos concludes, we see Goob taking part in the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl.  In the clip below, you’ll see all of Goob’s “highlights” from the television broadcast of the  game, including catching a touchdown pass from Warren Moon, doing the Ray Lewis dance, diving to break up a pass intended for Gossip Girl’s Chace Crawford, and getting asked for his phone number by supermodel Marisa Miller.  You’ll also see some behind-the-scenes footage from the VIP area, Celebrity Green Room, and “Blue Carpet.”

Ravens Fan Scores TD, Does Ray Lewis Dance in Celeb Beach Bowl

February 8, 2011

That Ravens fan was, of course, our very own Goob Theoharris. Here’s the highlight reel…fast forward to 1:30 for the TD and dance.


February 8, 2011

Well, Goob and I are finally back in Raleigh and B’More, respectively after the most incredible weekend of our lives.  We’ll have (at least) three videos chronicling our time in Dallas and Arlington at Super Bowl XLV. We’ll start in reverse chronological order, with Sunday and the game itself.  Goob and I wandered the Jerry World parking lots in search of Packers fans to befriend and Steelers fans to heckle, then proceeded inside to watch the Steelers choke away the biggest game of the year.  Damn good times.  Enjoy: