Grow the Arms, Buy the (Aluminum) Bats

We’ve been beaten over the head for the last several years with Andy MacPhail’s plan of “grow the arms, buy the bats,” regarding his approach to free agency and minor league system-building.

We all thought that was supposed to mean “sign power hitters in free agency,” but perhaps the genius of MacPhail had other plans all along? Such as, buying ACTUAL bats!

I can see it now – MacPhail announces today, on the off day, that the Orioles have bought an entire new supply of baseball bats – top-of-the-line aluminum bats, the kind that will have them smashing balls all over the field like…well, like other teams in the Majors hit with their wooden bats.

Alum Bat
The O’s new bats?

The “zeros” have scored 46 runs, tied for fewest in the American League (however, the team they are tied with, Cleveland, has played two fewer games). During that wonderful 1-6 west coast road trip that just finished, they scored 19 runs in 7 games. In the six losses, 11 runs in 6 games.

Their minus-35 run differential is worst in the Majors, BY FAR, with second-to-last Houston at -26.

They are hitting a collective .225/.285/.643 (BA/OBP/OPS), good for 27th, 29th, 28th out of 30 teams, respectively.

And, finally, thanks to Luke Jones at WNST for pointing this out today: From National Lampoon’s Sports Minute – Congress wants Major League Baseball to ban smokeless tobacco. Fans want Major League Baseball to ban the Orioles.

Our long civic nightmare continues, with no end in sight.

Come on, Andy. Those bats our boys have now aren’t working. Let’s buy some new ones.


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