Uber-douche Jeff Reed Arrested for Assualting a Towel Dispenser

Over the weekend, Pittsburgh kicker Jeff Reed was arrested for disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.  From the report:

According to a state police press release, Reed damaged a towel dispenser inside the men’s room at a Sheetz gas station on Route 22 in New Alexandria after he became infuriated that it did not contain towels.

Store employees told state police that they heard Reed “banging on something and that it was really loud.” The employees said Reed then left the bathroom “using profane language in a loud manner” and stating that there were no towels in the restroom.

(read it here)

B’More Birds’ Nest was able to obtain this photo, which was taken from a camera mounted inside the wall above said dispenser (and, yes, it was a special camera that is able to capture words on film. Also, New Alexandria PA looks a lot like Miami.  Just shut up and go with it.)


15 Responses to “Uber-douche Jeff Reed Arrested for Assualting a Towel Dispenser”

  1. Steve Ravens 365 Says:

    she’s going to make a beautiful bride someday

  2. Christmas Ape Says:

    Consecutive posts ragging on the Steelers during the off-season. The Baltimore inferiority complex is strong with this one.

    /expects comment to be deleted any moment now

  3. FootballFan Says:

    Haha but you have to admit Reed is a tool

  4. NestMinder Says:

    As long as your fat monkey fingers type “uproxx” instead of “uprozz,” I think you’re cool.

    And why did you rip that lady’s face off, dude?

  5. Christmas Ape Says:

    You saw the comments in the spam filter and could have restored them, but you didn’t.


    Reed’s ridiculous, but at least he’s cool enough that he lets people take photos of him in public, even when he’s partying. Most of us would look like tools in the same context. He’s not the one sending these in to blogs, but it’s happened enough that he has to know that that’s where they’re going, so it’s clear he’s not some uptight image-conscious jackass like most pro athletes.

  6. NestMinder Says:

    Actually, the only ones that didn’t get restored were the first bunch, and it was because I hadn’t figured out how the spam filter worked yet. As I told you, my bad.

    Most of your comments got restored.

    You sure have a lot of conspiracy theories. You certain you’re not from Baltimore?

  7. NestMinder Says:

    Hold on a minute…I almost missed this in the melee of defending myself against censorship accusations…

    Ape is now extolling the virtues of…Jeff Reed?


  8. Christmas Ape Says:

    Funny to get mocked for defending Jeff Reed by a member of a fanbase who voted Matt Stover their franchise’s best player of all-time last year. Could you all have made it more clear you hate blacks?

  9. NestMinder Says:


    I was going to say that for a guy that gets paid to make jokes, you’re pretty humorless in your comments. Guess you can’t give your livelihood away for free.

    I stand corrected.

  10. Christmas Ape Says:

    Well, here’s your comment from KSK yesterday on a post about the Patriots:

    Nestminder Says:
    February 18th, 2009 at 12:08 pm edit

    Still far less annoying than anybody waving a towel.

    Side-splitting stuff, Nest.

  11. NestMinder Says:

    Not humorless = making unfunny jokes, but humorless = being 100% serious all the time; devoid of jokes.

    And my comment was stating the truth, not trying to be funny. The Tawmstah IS less annoying than Steelers fans. Although, if he keeps slowly morphing into Simmons, that may change (unless of course, he has always been Simmons, but the fact that not enough of us obtuse KSK readers put that together forced Drew to start making his references more and more blatant…)

    No, waving a towel and going on about thumbs is still worse.

  12. Steve Ravens365 Says:

    Yea we sure are stupid to think Stover would be a franchise player for the Ravens, huh Ape. Get over your inferiority complex. When you help a team stay a float durng a TD drought in 2000 on their way to a Super Bowl victory and kick game winning field goals for us 9 times during his career, then you have every right to call yourself a franchise player for ANY team, although those votes were askew seeing as a day earlier the votes were neck and neck with J.O. and Ray Lewis, but that’s ESPN for ya, guess unemployment must really be crippling Pittsburgh, they got too much time to sabatoge votes for ESPN.com

  13. Christmas Ape Says:

    Thanks for the lesson on comedy, Nest. It’s hard to come back with jokes when commenting on posts that are heavy on bitterness and short on humor. (Clever Reed caption though!)

    And my comment was stating the truth, not trying to be funny.

    To steal a line for Tawmmy, “NO ONE DENIES THIS!” I don’t think you’ll find many neutral fans who would favor purple camo (whether you wear it or not) over a towel.

    Yes, Steve, it was all the nasty, vote-rigging Steelers fans who tipped the tally in favor of Matt Stover. You start of your comment defending Stover as a franchise player, then says he only got voted because of outside fans. That’s some deft contradiction. I also like how you’re trying to co-opt the “inferiority complex” dig. Sorry, Baltimore’s already cornered the market on that.

  14. Steve Ravens 365 Says:

    you need to grasp the message from my comment and not just mindless read it, you were commenting on how stupid we are to think Stover could be our franchise player, I’m saying Stover has the ability to be a franchise player because of his credentials and deserves that label, do I agree with it? No, in my opinion Ray Lewis is our franchise player, do I really need to spell everything out for your uneducated self, it was probably was the unemployed Steeler fans who sat at their Hello Kitty labtops and sat there saying “he he, this will be funny then we can go on there and comment a thousand times how dumb Ravens are for choosing a kicker as their franchise player”, I wouldn’t put past your fan base to do something like that

  15. Steve Ravens 365 Says:

    how can a vote being neck and neck with Lewis and Odgen suddenly be over taken by Stover who was a distant thrid in the voting…..think about that one as you mull over your Iron City Light and French Fry Sandwitches

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