Archive for September, 2008

Steelers 23 Ravens 20 (OT) – The WTF JUST HAPPENED?? Game

September 30, 2008

The Ravens lost a heartbreaker in Pittsburgh, coming oh-so-close to handing the Steelers their first Monday Night home loss since 1924 (or something like that).  They dominated for roughly 80% of the 4-plus quarters, leading 13-3 at halftime, and allowing something like 60 yards of offense by the Steelers for the first 38:10.  At that point, though, the wheels fell off and rolled into the Allegheny River for an extremely brief, but extremely critical span that saw Pittsburgh put up 14 points in 1 minute and 40 seconds, and that left all of B’More saying, “WTF JUST HAPPENED??”

Here is WTF happened:

Cheap shot artist Hiney Ward said something that got under the skin of Ravens LB Jarrett Johnson, and Johnson shoved Ward after the whistle.  Johnson was tagged with a 15-yard personal foul (the first of his 6 year career, so you know Ward had it coming), that set Pittsburgh up at the B’More 44, their first trip into Ravens territory since their opening drive.  Three plays later, Baby Ben hit Santonio Holmes for a 38 yard touchdown, on a play where the Ravens put on the worst display of tackling we can ever remember seeing from them.  Fabian Washington just missed getting a hand on the pass.  Chris McAlister whiffed with the chance to stop the play for a 10 yard gain.  Then, Ed Reed slipped and tackled air, blowing the opportunity to halt Holmes after 15 yards.  Nothing but daylight after that.

Still, the purple and black held a 13-9 lead.  Counting the extra point attempt AND ensuing kickoff, that lead would last all of 2 plays.   Joe Flacco would be hit by James Harrison on the Ravens next snap, causing a fumble that was scooped-and-scored by Lamar Woodley.

And, just like that, a 13-3 lead had turned into a 17-13 deficit.  It was a stunning turn of events, one that had the towel-wavers nearly choking on their french fry sandwiches.  It had been a magical, glorious chorus of boos from ‘yins donton as the Steelers limped to the locker room at halftime, but all that was quickly erased in less than 2 minutes of game time.

And that, B’More faithful, is WTF happened.

Does anyone else feel like, if this had been last year’s Ravens team, that would have been all she wrote?  That the inevitable from that point was more boneheaded penalties, fruitless drives, and easy touchdowns for the home team?  Well, one of the many positives that can be taken from this game for us Ravens fans is that that is exactly what didn’t happen.  Instead, “Joe Cool” regained the composure he had shown for the majority of the game and brought the Ravens back with a 9-play, 76 yard drive, culminating with a Le’Ron McClain 2 yard bull-run that tied the game at 20 with 4 minutes remaining.

You know the rest.  Overtime ensued, and although the Ravens won the toss and appeared to be set up near midfield by a clutch Yamon Figurs return, the refs again tossed a few terrible towels flags on the play, and that was all she wrote.  Zero first downs and punt for the good guys later, the Steelers took over and moved into Jeff “Manscape” (NSFW) Reed’s field goal range, and he snuck a 46 yarder just inside the left upright to win the game and give those shitheads the AFC North lead.

Maybe its’ the fact that the world economy is about to crumble, but we feel a strange sense of calm here at the Nest the morning after.  Sure, our blood was boiling just like yours at about 12:15 AM today, but aren’t you encouraged by all the positives that we can take from this game?

  • Joe Flacco held his own against one of the best defenses in the NFL, in his first road start, in prime time, in front of the most hostile crowd imaginable.  His 12-second scramble and improvisation that culminated in a 26 yard completion to Derrick Mason showed that he isn’t nearly as statuesque in the pocket as some had believed.
  • The defense came to play yet again, allowing only 46 yards in the first half and harassing Baby Ben all night.  Haloti Ngata notched his 2nd career interception, and appears to be becoming 100% unblockable.  Ray Lewis also looks to have regained any half-step he may have lost.  Aside for a key whiffed sack opportunity by Bart Scott and the aforementioned stupid penalty by Johnson, the entire linebacking unit had another stellar night.
  • The reemergence of Derrick Mason, although seemingly coming at the expense of all the other Ravens route runners, is encouraging moving forward.  It appeared to us watching on TV at least, that John Harbaugh should have challenged the near-TD catch to Derrick that was ruled incomplete due to juggling in the 1st quarter.  Even Tom Jackson on the ESPN halftime show noted that it looked like Mason did in fact make the catch.

Of course, it was still a loss, and some legitimate questions were also raised.

  • Did John Harbaugh make his first real gaffe as a head coach by not challenging the Mason play?  Again, the booth must have seen something that we didn’t see on TV, and Mason didn’t protest much either, so…
  • What was up with the play-calling in the 2nd half?  For all the success Cam Cameron was having with keeping the Steelers off-balance with underneath throws and screens (the Ravens were 7/17 on 3rd down – not too shabby all things considered), the sequences that we saw when the Ravens were 1) leading by 10 points, and 2) tied and having possession in the final 2 minutes, seemed a bit off.
  • What happened to the Ravens’ special teams?  Yamon Figurs seemed hesitant and muffed a punt.  They held on several occasions, and when they didn’t, the Steelers found huge holes in the wedge and hit Figurs before he even got to the wall.  Sam Koch had some boomers, but also a short 27-yard shank that got the ball rolling down the Duquesne incline.
  • Is Willis McGahee going to be alright?  His eye looks terrible, but he also went off the field with an unspecified injury, and, although he would return, was a non-factor afterwards.

The grapes in our purple Kool-Aid are a little sour this morning, that’s for sure.  Pittsburgh did just enough to win, which is what good teams do.  But, moving forward, all the “6 wins this year will be a miracle” gloom-and-doom predictions from the preseason seem like eons ago, right?


Ravens (2-0) @ Steelers (2-1)

September 26, 2008

This week, the purple and black travel to the big ketchup bottle up in Steel town to take on the AFC North defending Champion Squealers.  For the second consecutive year, the Ravens get the “privilege” of playing this crucial division road game on the National stage of Monday Night Football.  It is certainly a chance to exact some sweet revenge on ‘dem stillers (Ben Stillers?) for the drubbing they handed our boys in this game last year, but the Ravens will have to bring nothing less than their “A” game.

We have heard the rumblings all around town, as well as on national TV broadcasts and internet sites;  “sure, the Ravens are 2-0, but they have only beaten the Browns and Bengals, who are a combined 0-6!”  This is very true.  However, nobody seems to mention the flip side of that argument, which is the record of the Steelers’ opponents.  The Steelers’ 2 victories have come against:

1. Those same Browns

2. The Houston Texans (0-2)

So the record of the teams that Pittsburgh has beaten is…0-5.  Sure, they played a close game against the 2-1 Eagles in the City of Brotherly Love…but they still lost.  There are plenty of things working against the Ravens in this one, but please, no more about thm having not beaten anybody of note; Neither have the Squealers!

On to the meat and potatoes (I’ll have mine sans peirogie, thanks very much) of the matchup:

The Ravens and Steelers come into Monday Night as the #1 and #2 ranked defenses in the NFL, respectively.  No surprise there, as these have been 2 of the most consistent units in the league over this entire decade.  The faces change, but the results of Rex Ryan’s (or Marvin Lewis’ or Mike Nolan’s before him) and Dick Lebeau’s schemes are consistently dominant.  Both teams are missing one of their key run stoppers, with Kelly Gregg out for B’More and ‘Burgh taking the field without nose tackle Casey “I’m too fat to play defensive line” Hampton.  Gregg has not played yet in 2008 for the Ravens, and they have not missed a beat, with reserve Justin Bannan stepping up in a big way.  Ravens coaches have been quoted as saying that Bannan would be a starter on most teams in the league.  Not having Hampton could be a bigger issue for the Steelers, though, as NT is a key position in the 3-4 defense, and they are already without defensive end Brett Kiesel.

This bodes well for the Ravens rushing attack, currently ranked #2 in the league, which will be relied upon heavily to take pressure off rookie QB Joe Flacco, who is making both his first road and first nationally televised start. “Joe Cool” has been just that so far, but going into the most hostile of territory in front of the entire country against the fastest, most aggressive defense he has ever seen (except, of course, in practice in Owings Mills)…..well, it will be a test, to say the least.  One intangible that he does have going for him though is that he has been to the big ketchup bottle before;  Flacco, remember, spent 2 years as a backup for the University of Pittsburgh.  So that mess of mud and grass seed they call a field, and those swirling winds, will be nothing new to him.

Ravens fans should cross their fingers that Willis McGahee, who still has blurred vision after being poked in the eye by the Browns, will be at 100% by game time.  Le’Ron McClain is also a bit banged up, reportedly suffering from some migraine headaches this week.  The 3-headed RB-monster will need to be in full force at Heinz for the Ravens to really be able to exploit Hampton’s absence.

The Steelers are a bit banged up on the offensive side of the ball as well.  They are without Pro Bowl RB Willie Parker, and Baby Ben left the Philly game early with a hand boo-boo after being sacked for the EIGHTH time.  Filling in for Parker will be rookie Rashard Mendenhall, who has seen very limited action so far after displaying quite a case of fumbleitis in the preseason.  The Steelers have undoubtedly made some adjustments on offense to try to compensate for their sieve of an offensive line, knowing full well that the Ravens can bring as much pressure as any team.  We expect some 3-step drops, screen passes, draws, and other trickery from Bruce Arians’ offense;  hopefully Rex and the purple curtain do too, and aren’t caught off guard (or off-tackle, as the case may be).

We see points being at quite a premium in this game, so the Ravens special teams (which have been stellar to date) will have to make a play or two as well.  Return specialist Yamon Figurs returns after missing the Cleveland game, when Jim Leonhard filled in admirably.   Matt Stover is only 1-for-3 so far in 2008, so this is a great time for him to get on track; hopefully he gets a few attempts at the closed end of the stadium, rather than the open end, the Bermuda Triangle of field goals.

Unlike the one-sided Browns-Steelers rivalry, this one actually has some back-and-forth to it.  B’More has won 4 of the past 5 meetings, and 6 of 9 dating back to the final game of the 2003 season.

Let’s make it 7 out of 10.

Ravens 16 Steelers 13

P.S. Don’t forget to send in your pics to win free Ravens Tickets to the Raiders Game!

O-Line Better Than Advertised

September 24, 2008

Wasn’t the offensive line supposed to be a weak spot for this year’s Ravens?

Well, after 2 games, nothing could be further from the truth. Here at the Nest, we were confident all along in the interior threesome of Marshal Yanda, Jason Brown, and Ben Grubbs. But the solid play from tackles Jared Gaither and Adam Terry has been a pleasant surprise to all of Ravenstown. The loss to retirement of Jonathan Ogden in the offseason left the blind side of rookie QB Joe Flacco in a pretty precarious position as his first real NFL action loomed, but Gaither’s play to date has elicited exactly zero utterances of “boy, we could sure use big ol’ #75 out there again.” On the other side, Terry, a fourth year player out of Syracuse, is so far taking advantage of what many considered to be a make-or-break year for him in B’More. The addition of veteran former Pro Bowler Willie Anderson has been a plus, giving the team some depth at the position, along with bolstering their prowess in jumbo and goalline sets.

Joe Flacco took his first (and only, to date) sack of the season Sunday in the team’s 8th quarter of action. We’re not sayin they are going to challenge the franchise record of 17 sacks allowed, set in 2005, but it’s a hell of a start.

Of course, it hasn’t just been in pass protection where the unit has exceeded expectations. Along with the constantly rotating fresh legs of running backs Willis McGahee, Le’Ron McClain, and Ray Rice, the O-Line has given the Ravens the #2 rushing offense in the NFL so far. They are averaging 190 yards per game, and absolutely pounded the Cincinnati Bengals’ and Cleveland Browns’ defenses into submission in the 4th quarters of those games, sealing the games with long drives, instead of the giving the ball back with the usual 3-and-outs we had become accustomed to.

Even though the games were “only” against the Browns and Bengals, typical not 2 of the stronger defenses in the league, this group still deserves recognition. Those teams knew exactly what they wanted to do to beat the Ravens, and that was to force Joe Flacco to beat them, and get pressure on them when he was forced to throw. Marvin Lewis has a pretty good idea how to pressure quarterbacks. Cleveland features one of the top defensive tackles in the NFL in Shaun Rogers, and he was completely shut down and frustrated.

The pressure gets turned up a bit this week. The boys will be tasked with keeping the zone-blitzing dogs of Dick LeBeau’s 3-4 defense out of the backfield, never an easy task. Even without having Casey Hampton, who will miss the game with an injury, to contend with, they will have their work cut out for them.

Here’s betting they won’t let Joe, Willis, or the rest of us down.

Video of the Ray Lewis Hit on Kellan Winslow

September 24, 2008

We had posted the video of the hit here the other day, but NFL was all over that and took it off YouTube right quick.

However, to see the video of the hit on the NFL’s webpage, just click the link:

How to Blow Up A Soulja – By Ray Lewis

Ravens 28 Browns 10 (The RAY BLOWS UP A SOULJA Game)

September 22, 2008

The only thing hurting more than the Cleveland Browns’ playoff chances this morning is Kellan Winslow, Jr. That “soldier” is likely suffering from some PRLD (post Ray Lewis Disorder) after being absolutely exploded early in the 3rd quarter of the Ravens convincing 28-10 victory. The Ravens again looked like a team that knows exactly what they want to do on the field, which is pressure the quarterback and cause turnovers on defense, and pound the other team into submission on offense. They executed that game plan very well for the second consecutive game, sacking Derek Anderson 5 times (the most he has been sacked in his career), picking off 3 of his passes, and racking up 212 yards on the ground.

The Ravens moved the ball well on their opening drive, which started at their own 14 yard line, but ended disappointingly with a Matt Stover 48 yard field goal attempt that clanked off the right upright. On the next drive, rookie quarterback Joe Flacco made his first real “rookie blunder” hitting Browns linebacker D’Qwell Jackson (who, ironically, many Ravens fans cheered for just a few years ago when he was a Maryland Terrapin) in the numbers for an interception. It was a disappointing end to a drive that had already picked up 3 first downs, one coming on a 4th-and-2 QB sneak just one play prior. However, “Joe Cool” was undeterred, reportedly going up to Coach John Harbaugh on the sideline soon after, and saying “My bad. It won’t happen again.” The Browns, though, were able to turn that pick into 7 points, as Derek Anderson hit Jerome Harrison on a screen pass for a 19 yard score.

The next Ravens possession started well again, as they picked up 2 more first downs. Then things got a little weird, though. On 1st-and-10 from their own 47,  Joe Flacco pitched to Willis McGahee, who ran right toward the sideline, wheeled, and tossed the ball back to Flacco. The next step in this strange, semi-flea flicker was Flacco throwing deep to Derrick Mason, who was blanketed by 3 Cleveland defenders who were not fooled. Mason was unable to wrestle the ball from Mike Adams, who intercepted it in the end zone for the touchback.

While we love the creative, risky aspect of the call, we are a bit puzzled with the personnel utilized. Derrick Mason? A great possession receiver, obviously, but also the oldest, and probably slowest, of Ravens wideouts. Why not send somebody with a little more speed (Demetrius Williams) or size (Todd Heap) on that route, someone that can get some separation and/or have a better chance at winning a jump-ball, if need be. Mason did neither, and the result wasn’t what anybody in purple was hoping for.

On the next Ravens drive, with Cam Cameron maybe sensing that his young QB might not remain so cool with THREE first half interceptions, got back to basics and let Le’Ron McClain and Willis McGahee do their thing on the ground. On 7 plays, they ran the ball 6 times, and McGahee topped off the drive with a 5 yard scamper for his first TD of the year. This was a sign of things to come for the two teams.

A Phil Dawson field goal put the Browns up 10-7 at the half. With less than a minute to play though, a scary scene unfolded at M&T Bank Stadium. Ravens strong safety Dawan Landry tried to go low on Jamal Lewis, and his head was snapped back by Lewis’ thigh. He lay motionless on the field for several tense minutes, as players from both teams knelt beside each other around him. He was ultimately taken off the field on a stretcher, and went to shock trauma. The latest report on Landry is promising, as he was diagnosed with a “spinal cord concussion,” which should not do any permanent damage. He is also said to have feeling in all his extremities. The Nest wishes a quick and full recovery for Dawan Landry.

What went on in the Ravens locker room at halftime, we cannot be exactly certain, but it would change the direction of the game dramatically. According to post-game comments made by Terrell Suggs, Ray Lewis cranked up his “leader-meter” in some form, and the purple-and-black responded. On the Browns opening drive of the 2nd half, they faced 3rd-and-3 from their own 17. Anderson lined up in the shotgun, 3 receivers bunched to his right. One of them was the aforementioned Winslow. Winslow ran a short pattern, designed to pick up about 4 yards, behind another receiver that had ran a short cross in front of him. Ray Lewis, dropping into coverage, let the first receiver go by, giving him just a glance. In Anderson’s mind though, Lewis must have went to cover that guy, because he quickly turned and threw to Winslow, and Ray was moving before the ball was even in the Air.

Winslow never had a chance.

Lewis unloaded on Kellan just as the ball arrived, in a hit that is sure to put him at the top of “Jacked Up!” on ESPN this week. The ball popped up in the air, Chris McAlister opportunistically plucked it, and returned it to the Cleveland 12. The Ravens would pound the ball into the end zone from there, with McClain giving them a lead they would not relinquish.

To those that think Ray has lost a step, he is serving notice so far in 2008. In 2 games, he has had a direct hand in 2 turnovers, ripping the ball from Chris Perry’s arms in week 1, and causing this first interception of the game in week 3.

Yes, we say 1st interception, because the Ravens amped-up defense wasn’t even close to done welcoming Derek back to B’More. The Browns would run only 3 plays on their
next “drive” before Ed “Yeah, I have a nerve impingement, and I’m really not trying to tackle anybody if I don’t have to, but I’m still the best damn safety in the NFL, period” REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED stepped in front of Braylon Edwards and scurried 32 yards to paydirt. The Ravens were up 21-10, and the rout was on. Le’Run closed out the
scoring, punching another TD in from 1 yard out. Anderson would ultimately throw ANOTHER interception, this time hitting Samari Rolle on the first play after the 2 minute warning. “Joe Cool” then lined up in the victory formation, and his record as a starter in the NFL was officially 2-0.

Whether you were at the stadium, feeling the electricity of the purple party atmosphere, or watching at home, screaming at your TV, this one felt great. To get some revenge on those Brown Stains after that game they stole from us here last year, and to absolutely manhandle them in doing so, tastes as good as that purple kool-aid that is drowning Charm City this morning.

Sure, realistically, the Ravens haven’t really proven anything, beating 2 teams with a combined record of 0-6. But they did BEAT them…convincingly. The Ravens are still #1 in total and passing defense after this week. Joe Flacco, while having as many interceptions as wins, and no touchdown passes…is also undefeated. With what we were all expecting (or not expecting) from the 2008 Ravens, the first two contests have been a pleasant surprise, and have reminded us why we are fans.

Another pleasant surprise would be to go into the Big Ketchup Bottle in Steeltown next week and beat the Squealers. But we’ll cross that bridge (or those 15 bridges in 15 blocks, as the case may be…seriously, that city is like a soot-covered craplantis) when we come to it.

Browns (0-2) @ Ravens (1-0)

September 18, 2008

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Per game


Per game









































All right, so admittedly, that chart is a little bit misleading, considering the Ravens have only played one game, and it was against the Bungles. But I just couldn’t resist the chance to put so many “1”s next to the Ravens’ rankings, especially after so many numbers in the 20s last year. It’s fun when your team is the best in so many categories, so the Nest has no problem reveling in it. Hell. Yes.

Moving on.

Are the Browns really as bad as they have looked so far in 2008? The media darlings, what with their 14 Monday Night Football games (or whatever it is), who were picked by so many to cruise to their first division title since being reincarnated, have looked like absolute dog (pound) shit this season. In their defense, however, they have played the teams that look like the best in the NFL (Dallas) and possibly the best in the AFC (Shitsburg) in Weeks 1 and 2. So when level of competition is considered, the Ravens’1.000 winning percentage vs. the Browns’ 0 could be a bit of a smoke and mirrors show. We will get a much better idea Sunday what both of these teams are really made of.

The last time Cleveland came to town, the system malfunctioned, and the NFL was forced to reevaluate their rules regarding field goal reviews. The purple and black will certainly be looking for some revenge this week after having victory (rightfully or not) taken from them after they had already retired to the locker room. Quite frankly, we like their chances.

What’s wrong with the Browns’ offense? Sure, they played Dallas in Week 1, but that same Dallas team gave up 37 points to Philly (at home) in Week 2. This was the #8 O in the league last year, and they’ve managed only 16 total points in 2 games? Hard to believe after watching them last year, but the 2008 version of Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, and Jamal Lewis has not built upon last year’s success at all so far. Anderson thrown but 1 TD pass this year after heaving 29 of them in 07. Edwards has a severe case of the dropsies. Lewis looks like the Jamal that we ran out of B’More after the 06 season.

If the Ravens’ D can get anywhere near the kind of pressure they generated on Carson Palmer in Week 1 on Anderson (they sacked him only twice in 2 games in 07), Ravens fans will see why they should be thanking (and not cursing) Ozzie and Brian Billick for the fact that Joe Cool, and not Derek, is our signal caller.

Speaking of Joe Cool – possibly the biggest advantage coming out of last week’s cancellation was that Flacco (or “Falco” as Terrell Suggs calls him) gets another start in front of his adoring home fans before playing his first NFL road game. Another week to digest the playbook, another week to practice his checks at the line when they can actually hear him, and another week of being showered with “Let’s Go Flac-co!” chants will all help the rookie moving forward.

That’s not all the help he will get, though. More is on the way in Week 2, in the form of Willis McGahee. The Browns are allowing 142 ypg on the ground, and Cam Cameron’s three-headed attack of McGahee, Ray Rice, and “Le’Run” McClain will each get their chance to dice them up. How productive they are will depend heavily on the ability of the Ravens front to move Shaun “Big Baby” Rogers, Cleveland’s big offseason acquisition, off the ball. Jason Brown will get help from his guards, Ben Grubbs and Marshall Yanda, and this will be one of the most interesting matchups of the contest. Rogers was pretty disruptive in the game I saw Sunday night, but we know JB will be up to the challenge.

The main factor in the Browns’ win in their last trip to B’More was not Phil Dawson, or the refs, though. It was Joshua Cribbs and the Cleveland return game. Cribbs set up both the tying field goal and the winning one with big kickoff returns. Reports out of Cleveland are that Cribbs is a bit banged up, and missed practice Wednesday. We certainly wouldn’t cry in our beer if Cribbs is unable to go Sunday, but it is a bit of a shame because we’d like to see how special teams guru John Harbaugh will attack him. Tom Zbikowski, Haruki Nakamura, Brendan Ayanbedejo, Yamon Figurs and the rest of the Ravens coverage team will have their first real test of the season, should Cribbs be able to give it a go (and we suspect he will). Containing him is tantamount to beating the Brown Stains, as he showed in 07.

Even in that game last year, when Cleveland had been clicking on all cylinders for weeks, and B’More was in only game 4 of what would become a 9 game losing skid, the Clowns needed some great special teams play, a reversed “no-good” call on a field goal, and a win of an overtime coin flip to emerge victorious. No such number of lucky bounces will fall their way this Sunday. Sure, the Clowns are a desperate team – but they were also desperate (for a TD) last week with less than 5 minutes to go, and Romeo Crennel sent in his field goal unit – they don’t seem to know how to deal with desperation. The B’More running game will stay cranked up, Joe Cool will be just that, and the Ravens will take advantage of their fresh legs to break a 2-game losing skid against the Browns.

Ravens 23 Browns 16

Terp Kevin Barnes Lays the Smack Down on Jahvid Best

September 17, 2008

Since loyal reader “UnbiasedGuy” called out the Maryland Terps last week after their disappointing loss to Middle Tennessee State, we decided to go a bit off Ravens/O’s topics for a minute, and post a video reply.

Make sure you watch through the end….hopefully not while eating.


September 15, 2008

It’s time for another edition of Lookalikes! This is going to be an All-Squealer version, because….well, because those are the stupidest looking bunch of goofs in the entire NFL.

1. You ever watch that big dummy QB of theirs play in the rain? He has to wear a big, gay, glove. We’re not sayin Ben runs a youth football league out of his bedroom backyard, but the similarities are eerie.

2. When a picture of Shitsburgh linebacker James Harrison flashed across the screen in the Sunday night game, I couldn’t quite figure out who he reminded me of. Suddenly, it hit me so hard I was almost as cross-eyed as Harrison for a second. Damon Wayans, Jim Carrey, and Jaime Foxx all got their start in the late 80s on a show called “In Living Color.” It was the funniest show on TV, and anyone who remembers it will agree. One of Foxx’s characters was named “LaWanda” or “Ugly Wanda” or something like that…anyway, throw a curly blonde wig on him, and Harrison is the spitting image of Jaime Foxx trying to be as ugly as possible.

3. Brown Stains’ QB Derek Anderson killed the teams’ hopes in that game by throwing an interception at the Squealers’ goal line in the waning moments of the first half. Somehow, he failed to see that ridiculous looking neanderthal-jungle man lurking in the secondary.

That’s all the ugliness we can take for now. As always, if you have any lookalikes of your own, send them to us at!

Early Bye Week, Anybody?

September 14, 2008

Edit:  So this is the rant I was prepared to write regarding the Ravens-Texans game:

Reliant Stadium was damaged heavily by Hurricane Ike, so the Ravens-Texans game that had been rescheduled for Monday night will not happen as planned.

Surprise, surprise.

Seriously, who didn’t see this coming?  A giant hurricane bearing down on the city, and the NFL’s solution was “we’ll just play a day later.”  Morons.  So when Ike was having none of that, the NFL was left holding their junk in their hands again for not coming up with a better solution.  But did they take advantage of the mulligan Mother Nature granted them and move the game to San Antonio, Atlanta, or somewhere else?  Of course not.  They made another ridiculously retarded decision and just made WEEK TWO become the official bye week for Houston and the Ravens.


So the question is, what is more important to a team?  Your bye week or your slate of 8 guaranteed home games?

I’m trying to look at this from Houston’s point of view as well, and I keep coming to the same conclusion.  If the situation was reversed, and Hurricane Isabel II was preventing the Ravens from playing at M&T, I would still much rather have one of the home games moved to a neutral site than I would be forced to take the bye after only one week of playing.

What do you think, though?  Am I just seeing things through my purple goggles and seeing the advantages the Ravens would gain from not having to play a real “away” game, despite my best efforts to look at things from both sides?

Regardless, here is how things are now set in stone to play out:

Ravens @ Texans, Nov. 9 (Ravens’ originally scheduled Week 10 bye)

The Texans were forced to move their bye to Week 2 as well, and will now play the Bungles on October 26 (Houston’s original bye date).  Cincinnati, as a result, will take their bye in Week 10, instead of their original Week 8 date.

Yeah, thats the best the braintrust over at NFL HQ could come up with.

Suck it, Roger Goodell.

That’s how I feel on a strictly football level.  However, apparently Ike caused a ton of problems in the Houston-Galveston area, including many deaths.  So there are obviously things going on that are much more important than football down there.  In light of that, canceling the game for this weekend was probably the right only move for the NFL to make.  It sucks, but not nearly as much as having your house washed away in a flood sucks.  So we’ll be OK, unlike so many on the Texas Gulf Coast. 

Ravens-Texans Moved to Monday Night

September 11, 2008

The NFL has just announced that the Ravens-Texans game has been moved to Monday night at 8:30, still at Reliant Stadium.

Don’t know about you, but we were hoping the game would still be played on Sunday, and somewhere like Dallas or Atlanta. Not only would this negate the Texans’ home-field advantage, but it wouldn’t screw up our Sunday drinking plans (as Dewey pointed out).

Also, with Hurricane Ike expected to made landfall Saturday morning as a Category 4 storm, what the hell guarantee is there that Houston won’t still be underwater on Monday? We understand not wanting to screw the Texans out of a home game (like previous Commissioner Paul Tagliabue did to the Saints), but excuse us if we aren’t exactly convinced that moving the game 28 hours will make everything A-OK.

On the bright side, maybe at least some of the Texans’ fans will still be bailing out their trailers and won’t be able to make it out to try to make life hell for Joe Flacco and that no-huddle Ravens’ offense.