Man-Crush: Jim Johnson

I’m going to admit something to you here, Nestgoers…

I have a man crush.

There, I said it. It was killing me keeping it inside, but I thought you all, the loyal readers, should be first to hear me speak it publicly.

Who is the apple of my eye, you ask? The object of this school-girl like crush?

I’m sure you know him, but allow me to give a proper introduction:

From Johnson City, New York (really? weird), a 2001 graduate of Endicott High School, standing 6 feet 5 inches tall, weighing in at a slender 224 pounds….O’s fans have referred to him as “Nails,” or simply “J.J.”…

Ladies and Gentlemen, James Robert “Jim” Johnson!

Thats right, I have a man-crush on Jim Johnson, and I’m not afraid to admit it. The guy is straight filthy. In 46 1/3 innings pitched this season, J.J. has allowed a measly 26 hits. He sports an ERA of 1.17 and his WHIP comes in at a miniscule 0.95.

When the Pirates were in town, Doug Mientkiewicz (a 10 year veteran, mind you), told Jim Palmer that Johnson’s wicked, darting, elusive 2-seam fastball was “the best fastball I’ve ever seen.”

Ya daaaamn right.

Let me describe to you the situation when my heart first fluttered for “Nails.”

May 13, Baltimore, MD.

The Orioles are clinging to a 2-run lead against the defending World Series Champions.

The bases are loaded.

No outs.

The batter? Number 2 on the All-time MLB list in Grand Slams, the 2004 World Series MVP, 11-time All-Star, 9-time Silver Slugger Award Winner, yes, folks, thats just Manny Being Manny, Manuel Aristides “Manny” Ramírez Onelcida.

After fouling off pitch after pitch, J.J. gets Manny to beat the ball straight into the ground, an easy roller to the pitcher, which he then fired home to start the 1-2-3 double play.

The Camden Yards crowd went wild, and I nearly punched a hole in my ceiling jumping out of my chair.

Since then its been more of the same from Jimmy. When “Nails,” comes out of the ‘pen, you know that coffin is gettin’ hammered shut.


3 Responses to “Man-Crush: Jim Johnson”

  1. Debater Says:

    Sooo, would you Nail Nails? Would you touch Johnson’s Johnson? Would you consider a BJ for J.J.?

  2. O’s Pitchers Taking Lumps as Spring Training Winds Down « Bohs in the Bleachers Says:

    […] up was Jim Johnson, the O’s set-up man to-be (who I have been a big fan of in the past). The first four batters against JJ went like […]

  3. O’s Pitchers as Tired Internet Memes : Baltimore's Best Ravens and Orioles Blog Says:

    […] up was Jim Johnson, the O’s set-up man to-be (who I have been a big fan of in the past). The first four batters against JJ went like […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: