Girl Attacked by Steamed Crab. Her name? Jen Roethlisberger

Just when you thought the world of animals and sports couldn’t get any weirder…

Right on the heels of this story about 13 year old Alexa Rodriguez being attacked by a red-tailed hawk at Fenway Park in Boston, comes this freaky and disturbing story out of B-More:

Baltimore, Md. – A 15 year old girl that was having dinner with her family was pinched by a dead blue crab, drawing blood from her nose.

While the girl was not seriously injured, some observers at Philips, the Baltimore Seafood restaurant where the incident occurred, noted that a girl such as herself may be better off staying away from the town. The girl’s name is Jen Roethlisberger.

Jen and her family had sat down to enjoy a table full of steamed blue crabs, a Maryland staple. But when Jen picked up her first crab of the night and tried to start picking the meat from it, the crab jerked in her hand, as if still alive, and latched onto her nose. Her father worked quickly to pry the claw off the girl’s nose, but blood had already been drawn.

So was the crab still alive? Was its spirit haunting the room attempting to get back at its killers? How could a crab that had been dead and cooked do such a thing?

Local biologist Dan McQuade gave his insight: “No, no, I don’t think there were crab ghosts or anything like that,” he said. “Have you ever seen on the crime shows where a murder victim continues to twitch even after they are dead due to nerves firing? Well, crabs have nervous systems as well, and in rare cases, they can also fire after death.”

But after being steamed for half an hour?

“I have to admit, that’s a new one by me,” said Cockerham.

Roethlisberger was able to finish the meal with her family, albeit with a band-aid on her nose. Also, her mother had to pick all of her crabs for her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever try to pick a crab again,” Jen told us. “Its crab cakes for me from now on.”

photo: I think I have to put this and this


4 Responses to “Girl Attacked by Steamed Crab. Her name? Jen Roethlisberger”

  1. Ravers Says:

    Was Jen Roethlisberger visiting from the steely city of Pittsburgh??

  2. Harley Davidson Says:

    Remember kids, you should always wear a helmet when eating crabs.

  3. UnbiasedGuy Says:

    Funny story.

    Since you mentioned helmets and since this is a “Roethlisberger” story…

    Actually, in the state of PA, it is not required to wear a motorcycle helmet if you are over the age of 21—Big Ben was just going too fast and sustained his injuries. In MD though, helmets ARE required.

  4. Debbie Downer Says:

    Jen should watch out for the calorie content in crab cakes! For the same amount of crab she’ll be getting nearly double the calories; 36% being from fat!

    She sounds like a dumbass anyway.

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