Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

Drinkin' Bohs and Watchin the O's, Hon

March 10, 2011

That sweet nectar,  that sweat off Jesus’ arm pits, that elixir that we Baltimoreans call Natty Boh, will be available on draft at Oriole Park at Camden Yards this season. The Orioles, who have seen attendance fall year after year lately, have really tried to hit a “home run” by making Boh available this season.

National Bohemian or “Natty Boh,” as we all know it, with their signature mascot Mr. Boh – who just so happens to resemble the Pringles guy and who is currently boning the Utz lady – has been Baltimore’s iconic beer for years. Loved more for it’s nostalgia and Baltimore pride than it’s taste, Natty Boh has seen an unexpected resurgence in the years since it was purchased by Pabst Brewing Company.

Boh is now brewed in Eden, North Carolina by Miller Brewing Company, but will always represent Bawlmer with each sip. I personally leave Maryland with at least two cases almost every time I get back home and just love that it’s one of the best tasting cheap beers. Be warned though folks, the Orioles will also most certainly be serving the most expensive pints of Natty Boh Baltimore has ever seen. I am not sure of the exact price yet but we can expect a few dollars to be made on each plastic cup of Boh poured inside Mr. Angelos’ walls.

Many people do wonder why I ever moved to North Carolina and I find myself asking that same damn question almost five times a day…however, the truth has finally been exposed. I moved here for BOH!

Please make sure you place your beer orders at least one game in advance because knowing Greedy Petey and the Orioles, they’ll charge you more on the day of the game-just like they do with tickets.

Well Baltimore, I guess we can’t use the excuse of hanging at Pickles or Sliders until the 5th inning just to imbibe as much Boh as possible, and we’ll have to find a new excuse to stumble into the game hammered after the starting pitchers have already been pulled.

Scouting the Celebrity Beach Bowl – Part 2

February 1, 2011

Yesterday, we looked at Goob’s competition in Saturday’s DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl as far as former NFL players go. Today, we’ll look at some potential opponents he is likely to have much more success against. These coddled celebrities are usually the artsy-fartsy type, and have the athletic ability of a high school band geek (as most of them probably were). Sure, some of these dudes may be all ripped up and have abs on top of abs – but for the most part they’re going to be all “show” and no “go.” Goob, a former soccer and lacrosse player, could find himself significantly outplaying some of these celebs; alternatively, they could drop a ball at the worst time and cost his team the game.

Let’s look at the pretty people:

Chace Crawford – Crawford is from Lubbock, Texas, so he may actually have some football skill.  From the above picture though, I’m gonna go ahead and say that he throws like a girl. A GOSSIP GIRL! Ba-zing!  Crawford used to date country singer Carrie Underwood, who Goob had a little school girl crush on for years.  Is “HEY, I BEAT IT TO YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND” an effective taunt?  Only time will tell.

Kellan Lutz – Speaking of abs.  Apparently this guy is one of the werewolves vampires from that Twilight crap.  According to his Wiki, “in Lutz’s free time, he likes to take part in extreme skateboarding, weight training, track, baseball, basketball, lacrosse, swimming, tennis, racquetball, badminton, snow skiing, snowboarding, dance..” If true, Lutz would probably be a good teammate to have.  If he’s on the other side, Goob may want to – in addition to avoiding standing next to him in general – look to cover somebody else.  Somebody like…

Hayden Panetierre – Hayden is probably best known for her role on Heroes as the Cheerleader Who Catches on Fire or something like that, but in my mind she’ll always be the curly haired little coach’s daughter from Remember the Titans.  If she remembers anything from that role, she’d probably be as good of a coach as damn Eli Manning or Colt McCoy will be.  I think Hayden is like 4’6″, so she probably matches up best with Barry Sanders.

Joe Manganiello – Oh look, more abs!  Here’s something fun for Goob: “Manganiello was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and raised in Mt. Lebanon, a suburb south of the city.” Guess who’s a Steeeeelers faaaaan?  At least he comes by it honestly, but Goob should definitely plan on taunting the hell out of this mountain of man-meat for being a towel-waving douche canoe.  And then on running away as fast as possible.

Ya know, on second thought, it might be safer to just direct all ire toward that skidmark Merril Hoge.  Manganiello is one huge dude.

Jerry Ferrara – Hey, finally someone that more closely resembles Goob as far as physiques go – “Turtle” from Entourage. Also like Goob, Ferrara bats way out of his league when it comes to women, dating gorgeous ladies such as Jamie Lynn Sigler of The Sopranos. Chances Ferrara plays the game without a New York Yankees hat on (backwards)? Roughly 3%. Maybe Goob should rock this old classic to mess with Turtle:

(Yankees Suck)

Kevin Dillon – Another Entourager, this time “Johnny Drama.”  The less successful younger brother of Matt Dillon, Kevin has made his name as the dim-witted meathead Drama.  Other than “everyone on entourage should be punched in the face,” I have nothing to say about Kevin Dillon.

Marisa Miller – Great googily moogily Marisa Miller.  I’ve been on the MM bandwagon since way back in 2002, when she first appeared in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  As a result, I feel more than qualified to speak to her many talents.  However, were I to actually speak my mind on what may be the perfect physical specimen of the female human, they probably wouldn’t let me anywhere near the Celebrity Beach Bowl this Saturday.  So let’s just look at Marisa some more shall we?  Like they say, a picture is worth a thousand restraining orders words.

Chord Overstreet – Who?  So wait a minute…this dude is on Glee…where he sings.  And his name is “Chord?”  You’ve gotta be kidding me.

“Chord has stated his unusual name is because ‘my dad is in the music business as a songwriter. I was the third one in my family born, and there are three notes in a chord, so that’s how they came up with my name.”

Oh holy hell that’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.  Let’s see – Goob was the first one born in his family, and according to Sammy Hagar, there is one way to rock, so…Goob, your new name is “Rock.”  Or maybe, since we’re playing football and teams only keep one punter on the roster…”Punt.”  This is so asinine it doesn’t even lend itself readily to easy mocking.  Just make fun of his lips, Goob.

Matt Bomer – This guy has been in some soap operas (Guiding Light), some TV shows (Chuck, White Collar) and three movies (Flight Plan, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Now), but I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him at the grocery store, that’s for damn sure.  His father was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys in 1971, but never played a game for them.  According to his wiki, Bomer plays football, baseball, and tennis, though, so he could be a nice sleeper pick for Goob’s team.

Although originally from Texas, Bomer graduated from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, so he’s probably also a damn Steelers fan (“I hate the Cowboys cuz they didn’t let my dad play, so I was a Steelers fan growing up, honest! WAHHHHHHHH!”)

Hunter Parrish – “Silas” from Weeds.  But it seems to me there is a distinct lack of abs there, Mr. Parrish.  Better step up your game.  My only beef with Parrish is that he got to make out with Baltimore girl Julie Bowen on screen – bastard.  Like Crawford, he hails from Texas so he might have some football skills.  Unlike Crawford – and despite being on the show Weeds – he’s never been busted for Marijuana possession.

Nicole Scherzinger – Lead singer of “The Pussycat Dolls.” Another one I wouldn’t recognize walking down the street.  Apparently she’s an attractive lady though, a regular on Maxim Magazine’s “Hot 100″ list.  I’m old and out-of-touch.

Michael B. Jordan – Wallace from The Wire! Sure, he’s been in some things since then, but Jordan will always be best known to Baltimore folk as poor Wallace, who was murdered in a crying sniveling mess by his supposed “friends” Bodie and Poot in season 1 of the best show of all time.  I named my dog after a dude that shot you on TV, Michael B. Jordan!  Kinda creepy.  Anyway, Goob needs to let the Wire references flow freely whenever Jordan is in earshot.

Jordan lines up to cover Goob – “You gonna cover me? SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT.”

*Goob runs by and farts on Jordan* – “Damn son, I think ‘Poot’ shot you again!”

*Goob gives Jordan a cheap shot* – “All in the game, yo.”

And so on.

Dominic Fumusa – Who the hell are these people?  This guy is apparently on the Showtime series Nurse Jackie.  He’s been on some other shows, but never for more than 1-2 episodes.  We’re scraping the bottom of the “celebrity” barrel here, DirecTV.  How about we drop this guy and let ME play?

Brie Larson – Larson looked quite young in all the Google image results, so I was relieved to find out that she is 21.  She’s in United States of Tara and was in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.  She is also a musician.  I’m guessing Larson will be on whichever team Panetierre isn’t, so Goob will likely be grabbing at one of the two trying to rip their flag off at some point.  Don’t worry Goob – they’re both of age.

“And many more” – Rumor had it that “The Rock” (That’s the real “Rock,” Duane Johnson, not Goob’s new Chord Overstreet-style persona) was set to play in the game, but his name isn’t on the press release.  Hopefully he shows up – Goob has a bit of his own medicine planned for him with the B’More Birds’ Nest microphone….

If you have DirecTV, be sure to tune in to Channel 101 Saturday at 1:30.  The game will also be on 3D on DirecTV’s n3D powered by Panasonic. Additionally, the game will be broadcast on all of Fox Sports Network’s Regional Sports Networks and affiliates and DIRECTV’s Regional Sports Networks, so check your local listings, and be sure to watch for Goob hobnobbing with all of these celebrities and more.

Scouting the Celebrity Beach Bowl – Part 1

January 31, 2011

Sure, we’re just six days away from Super Bowl XLV, but seeing as how “the team that shall not be named” is participating, we have much bigger priorities around here this week. First off, on Satuday our own Goob Theoharris is taking part in the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl. He’ll need to be in top form as he faces up against former NFL greats and other various celebrities. We’re going to take this opportunity to scout the game, and hopefully give Goob a leg up on his competition.

Now, Goob doesn’t yet know which team he’ll be a part of, or who his teammates will be, so we’ll just have to go through the lineups one by one and discuss how each could benefit/hinder Goob’s performance.

TEAM CAPTAINS

Warren Moon – Moon, a 2006 Pro Bowl inductee, went to 9 Pro Bowls in his NFL career, in addition to winning the Grey Cup (CFL’s version of the Super Bowl) five times. He threw for nearly 50,000 yards and 350 touchdowns during his time with the Houston Oilers, Minnesota Vikings, Seattle Seahawks, and Kansas City Chiefs. One of the teams will be led by Moon. Hopefully Goob’s. Because the other team will have…

Jesse Palmer – Palmer is best known for being “The Bachelor.” He threw three touchdowns and four interceptions as a member of the New York Giants after being drafted in the fourth round from the University of Florida in 2001. If Moon doesn’t want Goob on his team, Palmer will be forced to give our boy a rose. Hopefully if he picks Goob, their relationship will turn out better than the one where he picked Jessica Bowlin. ZING!

COACHES

Eli Manning – One of the coaches will be Giants’ quarterback Eli Manning. I’d expect Eli will be too busy eating Oreo cookies and wondering where his mommy is to do a whole lot of actual coaching. Should Goob find himself on Elisha’s team, drawing his own plays in the dirt seems like the way to go.  And, knowing Goob, he’ll do at least one thing to elicit this response from his coach:

Colt McCoy – The other coach is Browns’ QB Colt McCoy. In this case, Goob will have to avoid the urge to make fun of Colt for throwing two interceptions to Ed Reed and just being generally awful back in Week 16 when the Ravens visited Cleveland. On top of that – it’s Colt McCoy. Given the choice between a relatively unaccomplished rookie who performed decently at times or a former Super Bowl winner – even if it is the aforementioned Elisha – we have to hope that Goob gets placed on Manning’s team.

POTENTIAL OPPONENTS/TEAMMATES

Former NFL Players

Merril Hoge – Hooooo boy. We’ve often remarked here at the Nest just how much we think of the unabashed Steeler-loving/Raven-hating Hoge. Here’s hoping Goob gets lined up on the opposite side of Hoge, and gets in a cheap shot as the former fullback looks the other way. Then he can just say he learned it from watching Hoge’s girlfriend, Hines Ward. Though, if Hoge’s “uniform” from last year’s bowl is any indication, he’s more likely the girl in the relationship.

Daryl Johnston – What is this, the Celebrity Beach Former Fullback Bowl? “Moose” will likely be on the opposite team of Hoge.  Johnston went to two Pro Bowls during his career, while most Steeler fans don’t even remember Hoge playing for them.  Moose is the one we want on our team.

Eddie George – Another player that Goob will be able to taunt for being a Ravens’ whipping boy. “Don’t drop this one like you did that pass in the 2000 AFC Divisional Game, Eddie!” should be a nice little bit of smack talk to get in the former Ohio State Buckeye and Tennessee Titan’s head. Of course, Eddie and the Titans smashed the Ravens’ dreams in 2003, winning a playoff game of their own at M&T Bank Stadium. Still, in general, the Ravens have always owned the Titans when it matters. If all else fails, Goob can ask the alien-looking George when his spaceship is coming back to take him home.

Barry Sanders – I have a Barry Sanders replica jersey that I won in a bar contest back when I was like 14 (being the only sober one playing definitely helped), so I know what I’ll be wearing to watch the game. Sanders’ slick moves will probably be less effective in sand than they were on artificial turf back in his playing days, but I, for one, am still very much looking forward to Barry juking the hell out of Goob and leaving him in the dust/sand. I promise to get it on camera for your viewing and mocking pleasure.

Darren Woodson – Woodson was on the Cowboys team that handed Pittsburgh their only (to date) Super Bowl loss, back in Super Bowl XXX, so the first thing Goob needs to do is thank him for that. In addition, they can make fun of the Buffalo Bills together, both having a bit of a history with that franchise. Woodson was also on the Super Bowl XXVII and XXVIII teams that both defeated Buffalo, while Goob has his own interesting relationship with the fine people of Buffalo. Otherwise, Goob will be wise to avoid Woodson, one of the hardest hitting players to suit up back in the 90s.

Tomorrow: Part 2 – Celebrities (i.e. Marisa Miller, Brie Larson, Hunter Parrish, Jerry Ferrara, more)

More Rex Ryan Escapades

December 22, 2010

I can justify posting this on a Ravens site because:

If the internet detectives are correct, and this is indeed Rex Ryan and his wife engaging in some Youtube foot fetish fun, then the alleged filming incidents likely occurred while Rex was in Maryland and a member of the Ravens organization.

If you haven’t heard yet, go here and check out Deadspin’s feature.

Wow. I mean, the Jets have had some interesting scandals already this year (Hard Knocks, Jen Sterger, Ines Sainz, Sal Alosi), but damn…who would have guessed that it would be Mrs. Ryan that would ultimately provide perhaps the most ridiculous, off-the-wall of them all?

Apparently the Rex Ryan “kharacter” that Drew Magary of KSK has created really isn’t all that far from dead-on accurate.

I keep waiting for Brian Billick to make a cameo in one of these videos.

Goob Reacts to Vikings' Signing of Frank Walker

October 13, 2010

The Minnesota Vikings signed former Raven CB Frank Walker to a 1-year deal today.  Here, Goob reacts to the Vikings’ season ending the signing:

Can't Get Enough of the Vuvuzela?

June 25, 2010

In response to Nestminder’s recent post about the World Cup, I figured to post something really quick about what peoples’ finest memories of the world cup will be.

NO…I’m not talking about Landon Donovan’s miracle goal in the first minute of stoppage time to propel the US into the next round… I’m talking about Vuvuzela!

The controversial and annoying Vuvuzela has people turning their TV’s down during the World Cup coverage because of it’s “bee” like sounds when played in harmony with tens of thousands of other drunk idiots at a World Cup match. (Hint: If you turn the treble down on your TV volume settings, it helps with the high pitch sounds)

For weeks I’ve been wondering, “What would it be like to fart in a Vuvuzela?” because I’d surely do that at a soccer match to get not only the place playing at a different tune, but a different smell too. Luckily, I left it to my radio icons, Opie and Anthony and comedic genius Jim Norton to fulfill my curiosity of a different Vuvuzela sound.

Please enjoy….

Why I Love the World Cup

June 24, 2010

The United States Men’s National Soccer Team had one of the most exciting finishes you’ll ever see in sport yesterday, scoring in stoppage time to win 1-0 and gain themselves a berth in the knockout stages of the 2010 World Cup.

Many, many Americans are, like me, absolutely ecstatic about the result, and are eager to see our boys play at least one more game in the world’s largest sporting event.

However, many others in the USA could honestly care less about the World Cup, or soccer in general. I’m not here to admonish or scold those people for “not getting it,” or offer any similarly insulting sentiments. Rather, I’d like to explain what it is that makes me personally love the World Cup.

Millions of Americans played soccer as youths, only to shun it for baseball, football, and basketball as they grew up. I am not one of these folks. Soccer has ALWAYS been looked down upon in my family; soccer players were, and still are, “foot fairies” to my father, so no son of his was going to be playing that weird game where hands are useless and prohibited. No, my interest in the most popular sport in the world wouldn’t start until the 2006 World Cup.

Looking for something to do as the Orioles suffered through what was then their ninth straight losing season (those were the days, eh?) and with Ravens’ training camp still six weeks or so away, my friends and I decided to go “all in” on the World Cup. We bought face paint and applied it like old pros, and headed out to James Joyce Irish Bar & Restaurant in Fells Point to watch the matches with some seasoned and authentic “football” fans.

GO USA 06

At James Joyce, we had more fun than I could have ever anticipated. We met people from all over the globe – Englishmen and Irishmen, a Belgian, and some second generation Italian-Americans. The electricity in the bar rivaled that of anywhere I’ve ever been for a Ravens game short of M&T Bank Stadium.  I was even taught of a drink I had never heard of, called a Snakebite (half cider, half Bass – I think).

I was hooked.

Despite the US team making an early exit in that World Cup, I continued to follow every match, randomly picking teams to root for all the way through to the Italy-France final.

And after that, my soccer fandom went on a 4-year hiatus. No, I didn’t get into the DC United or start following the English Premier League, although I can easily see the appeal in either. Remember, the title of this isn’t “Why I Love Soccer,” its “Why I Love the World Cup.” I by no means consider myself a “knowledgeable” soccer fan. I can name a good part of the U.S. roster, and a star or two from a handful of the other teams, sure. But I also find that every 4 years now I have to re-teach myself the offside rule (especially when it’s being applied as liberally as it is in this World Cup. Also, it’s perfect for a Ravens fan when it seems like the referees are hell-bent on screwing over our team in this sport, as well).

Here in 2010, the ride has been even more exciting. My girlfriend and I had the good fortune to be down in New Orleans, LA for the U.S. team’s first match, against the mighty English. For several weeks before our trip, we researched the best places to watch the Cup in N.O., and we kept coming upon this bar called Finn McCool’s Irish Pub. McCool’s is, evidently, where all the local expatriates go to watch international soccer, rugby, cricket, or whatever else it is they play across the pond (competitive tea drinking?), and they have their own football (soccer) “clubs” that play locally. Seemed perfect.

And was it, ever.

They had outdoor seating set up with a large projection screen.

I heard from one fellow that he got there at 9 AM and there wasn’t a seat to be had at the bar.

There was a nice lady set up painting faces for tips.

GO USA 10-2

There was abundant chanting and impromptu versions of “The Star Spangled Banner,” and “God Bless America.”

I partied with THIS guy:

GO USA 10-1

Shit, I even met an Orioles fan from New Orleans (his sister moved up here about 7 years ago, and since there is no team down here, he went with the Birds; poor guy), and we spent a few minutes discussing their ridiculous ineptitude.

And, the kicker: there was a full charter bus of Englishmen (and women) there to watch the game, their bus all decked out in Union Jacks and English flags (you can see the bus in the background in the above photo). One of the dudes on the bus came out dancing and was wearing chain mail around his head and neck, like a medieval knight. Awesome.

Unfortunately, for the next two U.S. matches, I was stuck at work, trying to follow online. On the bright side, because of Donovan’s aforementioned “golden goal,” the U.S. lives to play on, and will meet Ghana in the knock-out stages on Saturday.

A common sentiment among soccer-haters here in the homeland is the annoyance with the low, low, scores. Sure, there are a lot more 0-0 ties in international soccer than you’ll find in say, NFL football. On the other hand though, when you think about it, the average NFL score of 21-17 is actually only, in reality, 3-2.5. The best argument I can give against that feeling of “not enough scoring” though, is that, when that goal finally DOES come…the party is on. Especially when you are into extra time and the ref can blow his whistle at any moment to end the game…and your team’s run in the tournament. Seriously, check out some of these videos from around the country of Donovan’s goal, and tell me you wouldn’t have wanted to be there:

More here.

If you can’t agree that a moment like that captures all that is great about sports…again, like I promised, I won’t say “you don’t get it,” but I will say this: I don’t get YOU.

As far as my dad, he still says he’d “rather watch the grass grow,” so if you’re unconvinced, I know you’re not the only one.

Those of us that do love it though, will be in full frenzy mode Saturday at 2:30, when Donovan and the rest of the U.S. team take on Ghana in what amounts to the “Sweet 16″ of the World Cup.

Go U.S.A.!

Super Bowl Shmoooper Bowl

February 6, 2010

While NestMinder went 2-0 against the spread in the conference championship edition of our picks. Nick-A-What!? successfully picked both winners straight up. (Editors note: Also, lost both spreads) So now on to the last game of the NFL Season.

Nick-a-What!? says:

Colts -4.5 v. Saints

The city of New Orleans has never seen a Super Bowl, let alone a Championship ring. So at least we’ve got one of those things out of the way, and as much as I’ll be rooting for them Sunday, and I definitely will be, I don’t think they can beat Colts.

Reason #1-10: Peyton Manning. Do you need any other reasons? As if the conversations about Manning being the greatest player in the history of the NFL these past 2 weeks haven’t found your ears enough. The Colts are so good they’ve got a chance to win the Super Bowl without the help of a running game. Manning controls EVERYTHING. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen anything like it. Nobody dominates his sport the way Manning does. He’s 33 years old and it wouldn’t surprise me if he played until he was 40. It also wouldn’t surprise me if he wound up with 5 or 6 Super Bowl Rings.

As long as he stays healthy and getting sacked 10 times a year is keeping him that way, he’ll be around for quite some time. The Saints have the hope of a city ravaged by a Hurricane just a few years back and the hearts of the nation behind them, but unfortunately I don’t believe they can pull through.

The Colts one weak link is their Defense, and its not a very weak link at all. So far in the two playoff games they’ve only given up 20 points and exactly 0 of those points have come in the second half. So what does that tell you… the Colts know how to play with the lead.

If Breesus can break through that D early the Saints might be able to hang around, but if they don’t put this one in the books.

Colts 34 Saints 21

Nestminder says:

Saints +4.5 vs. Colts

Nick-a-What!? makes some strong arguments for the Colts there. Hard to argue with the assertion that, yes, Peyton Manning is playing better than perhaps any QB we’ve ever witnessed. The Peyton that used to choke in the postseason seems to be nothing but a distant memory at this point, replaced by this new, unflappable robotic gun-slinging terminator.

All I can do is hope against hope that Pey-Pey has a bad game. Along with that, maybe, just maybe, the injuries to Dwight Freeney and now Reggie Wayne are legit enough that they actually end up making a significant difference on the way the game unfolds. The extra half-second that a 65% Freeney may afford Drew Brees could be enough.

There is no way the Saints hit Peyton like they were able to hit Favre. Favre is a guy who, even at this age, will stand in there and take the hit to deliver the ball-its just the way he plays, and always has. Peyton, on the other hand, NEVER takes big hits. Just look at the way he crumpled like a little girl when Haloti Ngata had a clear shot at him three weeks ago.

That’s how Peyton plays. He’ll never get confused with the McNairs or Roethlisbergers of the world, guys who are “tough” and who take hits and keep on ticking. That’s just not his game. And it works for him. Nick says Peyton might play until he’s 40. If he keeps going on like this, I say more like 45. Football fans don’t like to see players shying away from contact, or being called “smart” for doing so, but that is exactly what happens with Peyton Manning, and I don’t see it changing any time soon.

So, to recap: Uncharacteristic bad game from #18, and an ineffective Dwight Freeney = Saints may have a chance.

Saints 31 Colts 28

Markakis on FBI's "Most Wanted" List

January 25, 2010

Something tells me that Nick al-Markakis may have some trouble getting to road games this season.

al-markakis

Conference Championship Shmampionship

January 21, 2010

It’s a Nick-A-What?! & NestMinder Special!

With the Ravens season officially over, Nestminder and I have decided to pick up where we left off 2 years ago. Predicting playoff games! The last time we did this in 2007-2008, the Ravens missed the playoffs so it made it a little extra exciting to watch.

As you should know (if you’re reading this you’d better know) that there are only 3 games left in this NFL Season (the Pro Bowl is not a game). How disappointing is that? With all the talks of the 18 game regular season and opening up the league to London, can it be that bad of an idea?

Short answer – yes. Look at some of the talent at QB this year. JaMarcus Russell, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Boller, Josh Johnson, Josh Freeman, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Bruce Noll; how awful is that? More teams? More games? More blowouts? Yes. I’d love it. Why not right? As long as your favorite team isn’t one of those, you’re in good shape. Moving along…

Colts -7.5 v. Jets

Nick-a-What?! says: Jets +7.5 – So… despite the Colts possibly making the biggest F.U. mistake of their football lives, by folding over at the end of the year and allowing the Jets to make the playoffs (oh the irony!), I have to keep reminding myself that with only 3 games left, I want the most exciting matchup possible in the Super Bowl. Gotta make the most of what you can get right? So, I gotta root for the Colts to make the Super Bowl.

Watching Dirty Sanchez march into Miami with that cast of hard running RBs and stellar Defense simply would not make for a thrilling Super Bowl. No chance that he could lead a 2 minute drill game winning FG/TD against anyone, let alone in the Super Bowl.

Therefore I will be rooting for and I expect the Colts to win. Peyton throws TDs like Dan Snyder throws out coaches. Gotta go with experience in such a big game, that being said… Jets still cover.

Colts 23 Jets 16

Nestminder says:  Colts -7.5 – Last week, leaving the hell-hole that is Indianapolis and their warehouse of a stadium, Ravens fans instantly became Chargers fans.  The Colts fans were absolute douchebags after the game.  Now, I’m sure I invited some of it inside the stadium, and I have no problem with people giving me a hard time in there.  But after the game, just walking around trying to find a cab and not bothering anyone, it was like being in Cleveland.  Never let anyone tell you that Indy fans are friendly.  This is a lie.  And so, like I said, we instantly started salivating at the thought of San Diego once again knocking Peyton & Co. from the playoffs.

Of course, ol’ Norv Turner was to have none of that, and now the Colts get to warm up for the Super Bowl against the Jets.  I don’t see how this game will be close.  The Jets’ offense is the Ravens’ with even LESS of a passing threat.  If the Ravens couldn’t run the ball on the Colts, the Jets won’t find any holes either.  That Colts’ D is just too fast on the rug.

If the Jets are to have any shot, they need to get after Peyton.  On the few occasions when the Ravens blitzed last week, Manning folded like a lawn chair.  Greg Mattison, however, played scared and decided to sit back in coverage and let Peyton pick his defense apart.

Rex Ryan doesn’t know the meaning of “playing scared.”  He will bring the heat on #18 from the opening whistle.  If his blitz-heavy tactics work, have another shot Ravens fans, as what you’ll be seeing COULD have been the purple a week earlier.

Colts 23 Jets 10

Saints -3.5 v. Vikings

Nick-a-What?! says: Saints -3.5 – As a kid who grew up loving sports, there is nothing more important than seeing players have fun on the field – besides your favorite team winning of course. But as I got older and my favorite team got worse and worse you reach for others to root for, and two of my favorite players growing up were Barry Sanders (of course) and Brett Fahhhvruh.

Every day I played backyard football, making ridiculous spin moves and running backwards all the way across the field to try and avoid being tackled like Barry, and when I’d play QB, I’d throw passes with my laser rocket arm and then run down the field with my hands in the air, throwing fists, pointing to the sky then I’d pick up my receiver and carry him around the field like he was a sack of potatoes.

But now, I don’t play too much backyard football, in fact the last two times I’ve played, one guy left with 6 stitches in his mouth and another guy left with a torn achilles tendon.

We’re old. Lets face it.

When we get old we can’t make Barry Sanders moves without leaving our hips stuck in the turf and we can’t carry around our friends on our backs unless we plan on a ruptured disk in our backs and of course we turn to the NFL to make those moves for us and make us say, “Hoooooly Shit that was awesome, I remember when I could do that.”

That being said…I now loathe Brett Favre.

What I neglected to mention above, was that what also attracted me to these players is that they were FRANCHISE Players. They stayed in freezing cold shitty cities and did their job. They played hard no matter what and were one of the best at the their trade. Then Barry retired unexpectedly and years later Favre retired, then he didn’t then he did, blah blah blah, he put his team in a shitty position of not being able to move on with or without him. So he cried wolf one too many times and he got traded. Then after a year of playing in freezing cold weather, he wound up in Minnesota, where he was linked to for years and years by the professor John Clayton at the minimum. Then he screwed his old team and city over to make a dump truck load of money and now he’s a game away from the Super Bowl.

Screw Brett Favre. Which sucks, cause I like Minnesota’s young talents – Rice, Harvin, Peterson, Long Dong Shiancoe. Besides, New Orleans will hang 90 on them. Plus, I’m rooting for the most exciting Super Bowl possible. Saints v. Colts! Then I wouldn’t really be too sad regardless of who won. I don’t want to have to root for the Colts over Favre.

Saints 90 Vikings 28

Nestminder says: Vikings +3.5 So, which team will earn the rights to play the Colts in the Super Bowl? In what looks to be an infinitely more competitive game on paper, the Brett Favres match up against the Breesuses.

Six weeks ago, I would have been all for a Colts-Saints Super Bowl. That is, of course, if they had both remained undefeated. Instead, the Colts tanked and the Saints fell apart down the stretch, but the bye week between Wild Card and Divisional weekends seemed to serve them both well. The Saints plastered the Arizona Cardinals last week.

I’d still like to see the Saints win, just because there is nothing to hate about them (except maybe Kim Kardashian). I just don’t see them moving the ball against that Minny D, who absolutely stifled Tony Romo’s Cowboys last Sunday. Jared Allen’s mullet, along with the Fatty Williamses, won’t have quite as easy a time against New Orleans, but the Saints will be nowhere near the 90 Nick-a-What?! predicted, or even half that amount, for that matter.

That’s right, it’s going to be a Manning-Favre Super Bowl. The talking heads are likely to explode…so at least one good outcome may arise as a result.

Vikings 27 Saints 23


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