Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

The Orioles used a Crab Race to choose their fantasy football draft order

August 15, 2012

Hat tip to Dan Steinberg at DC Sports Bog for this one.

My fantasy football draft party is this Sunday. I’m already dreading going to the store and picking up posterboard to make that damn draft board for the seventh straight year or whatever it is (stop being a cheapskate and just buy one, I know. Too late, unless you know somewhere that I can go out and get one instead of ordering it online). Anyway, your fantasy draft/s is/are probably soon too.

You know who else’s is soon? The Baltimore Orioles’ team league.

And, according to Darren O’Day, the Birds have no use for the typical “pick your name out of a hat” process to choose their draft order. They instead went with that time-honored Maryland tradition, the Crab Race.


Take it away, Dan.

Because, you see, the Orioles held a crab race to determine the order of their fantasy football draft.

I should probably add “apparently” somewhere in this item, because this is all based on an image posted online by Darren O’Day, the Orioles reliever who studied animal biology at Florida and “envisioned fulfilling his life-long dream to become a veterinarian.”

“Thanks to Cravin’ Crabs for providing the athletes for the Orioles fantasy football draft order crab race,” O’Day wrote on Wednesday.

Then he posted the above image, writing that DH Chris Davis “picked the Adrian Peterson of crabs to win first pick. This dude was stiff arming and juking everyone.”

So I feel comfortable saying that the Orioles apparently held a crab race to determine the order of their fantasy football draft, or possibly Darren O’Day was just making a joke.


Joe Flacco and Wife Expecting First Child

December 12, 2011

Aaron Wilson of the Carroll County Times confirmed with Joe Flacco that he and his wife are expecting their first child.

After a nine year relationship, Flacco and his high school sweetheart, Dana Grady, tied the knot with a private ceremony in Philadelphia last July.

Football fans got a sneak-peek into the life of the typically reserved Ravens quarterback. His wedding pictures were so unique that they went viral throughout major websites both sports and non-sports related.

Flacco has been making headlines as of late not only for his consistent play on the field but for his well manicured Fu Manchu mustache for charity. Mixing the popularity of the Flacco-stache’ along with the Ravens success, Flacco’s popularity may be at an all time high.

The gender of the child will not be revealed because the Dana and Joe want it to remain a surprise; however, it may not stop them from releasing sonogram pictures. Seeing how the couple already gave Ravens fans a glimpse into their wedding, should we assume the same could be said about Baby Flacco?

With the finest in high-definition cameras now available for sonograms, images of unborn children are as popular as family pets now on Facebook. If the picture is released, this futuristic image of Baby Flacco may be showing up on your wall…


December 9, 2011

Ravens fans, consider yourselves warned…this investigative report will expose the NFL’s love of the Pittsburgh Steelers at the highest levels.

One of everyone’s favorite questions to be asked is always, “What do you want for Christmas?” For as many years as I can remember, my response has always been, “Anything with a Ravens logo on it.”

After being the easiest person to shop for in the history of holiday shopping, I think I’m going to change up my approach this year. If you have ever seen my wardrobe collection or Ravens room, it’s quite obvious that I am  one of the NFL’s best customers.

This season has been great for the Ravens when it comes to the Steelers so far, but the anger that courses through my veins every time I see their logo remains at an all time high. When I received the latest catalog from NFLShop, I basically found myself thumbing through 58 pages of fury.

While picking out potential items for Christmas, I do not want to have to substitute a Ravens logo over a Steelers logo in my mind.  Unfortunately, that’s exactly what most people will have to do, regardless of who your favorite team may be.

People may call me crazy or biased on this approach but I wanted to justify this to myself and prove that I’m onto something .Or, maybe I am just starting to go a little overboard when it comes to my dire hate towards Western Pennsylvania Towel Wavers. Whatever.

I sat at my desk and counted every single standalone item in the latest NFLShop catalog. Excluded from my count are staged “themed rooms” overloaded with merchandise, the cover, and any uniform spread that featured all 32 teams.

Now, the covers of these magazines will be different depending on which region of the country you live in. I am still baffled that every magazine I receive has Steelers related merchandise on the cover even though I live in North Carolina and am two hours from the Panthers.


Now, onto the results.

Guess which team was featured the most?

That’s right….the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Throughout the catalog, the Steelers had 28 standalone items featured.The (SUPER BOWL CHAMPION!) Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears with next with 22 items each.

Having six items more than the second place teams may not seem like all that much, but let’s also take into account that a full 40% (13) of NFL teams teams didn’t even have six  items featured TOTAL. Let’s also take note (but not factor into the statistics) that the Steelers also had a full page spread of Steelers themed game room  in addition to the aforementioned cover.

The average amount of items per team was 9.03 and only 13 of the 32 franchises had more than ten total impressions.  For those wondering, the Ravens finished with 11.

Even if I didn’t dislike the Steelers so much, I would be disappointed as a fan of many other teams that received limited or no exposure. The Jaguars, Titans and Lions were only featured twice. The Panthers, Buccaneers and Seahawks were only featured once—and the Cardinals and Rams weren’t  shown at all.

Regardless if the team is good or not, the NFL should at least take pride in the team logos and creative merchandise seen on the sidelines each Sunday. Showing little or nothing of a team’s merchandise isn’t good for either business or the fan base.

NFL licensed apparel is expensive and I want to have a pretty decent idea of what the item is going to look like before I purchase it. The internet is a very easy alternative but why have a catalog if you’re just going to push everyone online to begin with?

I know the NFL has plenty of money and won’t really hurt by me asking for other things besides Ravens merchandise this holiday season. However, they did make it an easy decision when they filled my mailbox with a Steelers-filled catalog of junk.

I now have something else to wipe my hindquarters with besides a terrible towel. Thanks NFL!

True Crime – Ravens Sideline Assault

September 26, 2011

Late in the second quarter of Sunday’s 37-7 win over the Rams, Joe Flacco scrambled out of the pocket and ran out of bounds. It was at this point that the CBS cameras picked up a heinous instance of Raven-on-Raven crime. A blow-by-blow photographic analysis is presented below:

Here we see Joe as he reaches the Ravens sideline. The clock has ticked under two minutes during the play, and so the two-minute warning is now in effect. Joe is likely ready to go talk the rest of the two-minute drill over with offensive coordinator Cam Cameron. Ray Lewis is visible on the left of the screen. Suspected perpetrator of the crime, Jarret Johnson, is off screen to Lewis’ right.

Host of Ravens Game Plan on Comcast Sports Net Larry Rosen is pictured in the Ravens polo shirt, eyeing the dreamy Flacco. Lewis appears to be giving Joe some verbal encouragement. However, coming into our field of vision are the assault weapons, a water bottle and some stray ice cubes.

As Lewis continues to chastise Joe for not being in church on Sunday or something similar, we see that Rosen has noticed the weapons. However, it is much too late for him to warn Joe in time. Things are about to get very violent on the Baltimore sideline.

BOOM! The ice and bottle crash into an unsuspecting Flacco. Lewis is immediately speechless for once. Now, and only now, can we see our main suspect, Johnson. Having already hurled his icy projectiles, his nonchalant demeanor belies his guilty conscience. Does he regret what he’s done to his quarterback? Does he wish he could take it all back? Let’s have a look…

With a knowing smirk, Johnson gives the aura of the schoolyard bully who just gave Flacco a wedgie. Lewis and Rosen are seen having a good laugh at Joe’s expense, and it is only now that we realize they are nothing but sidekicks of the bully, far from innocent bystanders. Lewis was obviously just distracting Joe with his incessant jibber-jabber, allowing Johnson the time he needed to prepare his assault. One could surmise that Rosen is, in actuality, the mastermind of the crime.

We can’t see Flacco’s face, but we can only imagine the anger that Johnson has awoken. Joe is surely planning his swift and immediate reven…


Oh for crying out loud, Joe, suck it up. It’s only ice.

TMZ Report – Chris McAlister is Broke, Living in Mom's Basement (UPDATE – REPORT DISPUTED)

September 15, 2011

This came as more of a surprise here at the Nest than it probably should have, unfortunately.

TMZ is reporting today that former Ravens Pro-Bowl and Super Bowl winning cornerback Chris McAlister is out of money and is living in his parents’ basement.

From TMZ:

Former NFL bad ass Chris McAlister — who signed a $55 MILLION contract in 2004 — claims he’s BROKE AS A JOKE and living with his parents … this according to court docs obtained by TMZ.

The ex-Baltimore Ravens defensive superstar has just filed new documents in his child support war with his ex-wife Marlene in the hopes of  lowering his $11,000 per month obligation.

In the docs, Chris — a 1st round NFL draft pick in 1999 who played in the league for 10 years — states, “I have been unemployed since 2009. I have no income.”

He adds, “I live in my parent’s home. My parents provide me with my basic living expenses as I do not have the funds to do so.”

The whole “athlete goes from riches-to-rags” story is hardly an unfamiliar one, but that doesn’t make the individual instances of it any less tragic.

McAlister had the talent to be the best CB in the league during his playing years, but always seemed distracted by off-the-field pursuits – namely drinking and partying. His days as a Raven were numbered from the day “players’ coach” Brian Billick was replaced by disciplinarian John Harbaugh. Indeed, after McAlister caused some sort of scene at the hotel in Miami in Week 7 of the 2008 season, he never suited up in purple again. He appeared in three games for the New Orleans Saints during their Super Bowl year in 2009, but hasn’t played since.

Update: “Downtown Diane” took to twitter to dispute TMZ’s report:

The lesson here? As always, don’t trust TMZ.


August 29, 2011

Like many of you in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast regions, I am being more than a little inconvenienced by that bitch Irene. The Hurricane/Tropical Storm that tore up the East Coast this weekend has left me without power not only at my home (shitty) but also at my office (not so shitty!)

They tell us it could be a few more days before power is restored, so posts could be sporadic here at the Nest for the time being. However, know that we have some epic GOOBVISION in the works to be posted sometime next week before we all head down to Beaufort, North Carolina (still standing, somehow) for Goob’s nuptials. It won’t be so much a game preview as it will an all-encompassing thesis on Steelers hate.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to keep up with Ravens news via the radio in my car during my many trips to buy ice or gas to refill the generator, and during treks out to Wi-Fi hot spots (currently at a Panera Bread). I feel a bit cut off from the world, that’s for damn sure, but I’m not complaining. A lot of homes and lives were much more affected than my own over the past several days. The extent of my Hurricane “clean up” was picking up a bunch of downed branches in the back yard. I’ll be alright. Just don’t hold the lack of posts against us.

We’re about sick of this preseason mess anyway. It’s time for the real football to start. September 11 is less than two weeks away. We’ll be here all season – don’t worry about that.

Goob's Two Favorite Things, 311 and the Ravens, Come Together

August 10, 2011

In this interview promoting their new album, rock/ska band 311’s drummer Chad Sexton is sporting a Haloti Ngata Ravens jersey.

Sexton gives no explanation – in fact he says absolutely nothing during the interview at all – but no matter. I haven’t heard from Goob since this video was posted, so I am assuming that when he saw it his head spontaneously combusted out of happiness. He’s been to damn near as many 311 concerts in his life as he has Ravens games, so he can probably die a happy man after seeing this.

One thing though: Chad….CHAD. Dude. You can afford an authentic jersey, or at least one of the rip-off authentic ones. Nobody wears screen printed jerseys any more man. Come on. Haloti deserves better.

Joe Flacco Holds Workout at his Wedding

July 11, 2011

Sure, the lockout is still dragging on, but that didn’t stop Joe Flacco from holding an impromptu workout at his knot-tying last weekend.

The bottle of champagne is a nice touch.

Seriously, how can you not love our quarterback?

There are some good comments on the Deadspin article, my favorite of which was about Flacco’s wife being very understanding not because of this photograph, but because Joe’s eyes were locked on Derrick Mason the entire ceremony.

Sounds about right.

Joe Flacco’s New Bride is a Very Understanding Woman (Deadspin)

Welp, "Black and Orange" Finally Happened

April 13, 2011

I’ve been waiting for this. Ever since Wiz Khlafafizaia or whatever the hell his name is made that grating “Black and Yellow” song that became the Pittsburgh Steelers’ anthem, the copycats have been out in full force.

We’ve seen “white and purple” (by no less than the immortal Chet Haze AKA Tom Hanks’ other son not named Colin) for Northwestern, “green and yellow” for the Green Bay Packers, “black and purple” for the Ravens, and a ton of others.

I was wondering when an Orioles-themed “black and orange” would surface.

Thanks to “Dboi Da Dome, E’ From Da Wic, and Jay Luv,” that day was, apparently, April 4.

We rockin’ black and orange cuz we from Birdland. We represent the streets of Baltimore Murrrland.

Not bad.

And then…

We from the city where we wonder who gonna die next.

Um…Go O’s?

Will You Watch Le'Ron McClain's Reality Show?

April 3, 2011

Hat tip to reader Matt for pointing us in the direction of this video, the trailer for Ravens’ FB Le’Ron McClain’s reality show “Beyond the Jersey.” In the clip, look for cameos from other Ravens players like Terrence Cody, Ray Rice, Ray Lewis, and more, and also some Baltimore celebrities like recently arrested actress Felicia “Snoop” Pearson.

McClain is planning to test the free agency waters this offseason, so season two of “Beyond the Jersey” may be filmed in an entirely different city. Once that happens, I’ll probably lose all interest in the show, but for now I’m interested enough to check it out. Mostly for all the behind the scenes football footage and to see some Ravens’ players outside of the usual press conference setting; I could really care less what Le’Ron McClain does in his personal time though, and watching show after show of him having parties and rollin’ to the club doesn’t sound like my idea of quality entertainment.

So how about you, Ravens fans? Will you watch “Beyond the Jersey?”


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.