Archive for the ‘lookalikes’ Category

Lookalikes! Cowgirls Edition

December 16, 2008

The Ravens travel to Dallas this week, so natch (that’s what the teens Cowboys say instead of “naturally”) it’s time for some Cowboy lookalikes.  A fair warning:  they won’t be as good as last week’s, because, frankly…nobody is as stupid looking as the Steelers.  No getting around that.  Also, you won’t find any comparisons of Rowdy, their mascot, and a certain 2005 Best Picture.  That fruit just hangs too low – perhaps a side effect of those ass-less chaps?

1.  Let’s hope Marion Barber’s toe is still bothering him.  Even though nobody runs on the Ravens, a healthy Barber is no joke.  Perhaps his Doc will prescribe some medical marijuana, and he will be a nonfactor.

2.  “Aw, Tony Romo is so cute.”  You know who he reminds me of?  Unfortunately, folks in Texas will probably think this is a compliment.

3.  That’s my quarterback.  And these are Fergie’s sunglasses.

Jokes aside, the Ravens have a tall order ahead of them this week in Big D.  We’ll break it down later in the week.

 

Lookalikes! Squealers Edition (Repost)

December 9, 2008

In honor of black-and-gold bashing week here in B’More, we thought it appropriate to repost our Lookalikes: Steelers Edition (with some new ones):

It’s time for another edition of Lookalikes! This is going to be an All-Squealer version, because….well, because those are the stupidest looking bunch of goofs in the entire NFL.

1. You ever watch that big dummy QB of theirs play in the rain? He has to wear a big, gay, glove. We’re not sayin Ben runs a youth football league out of his bedroom backyard, but the similarities are eerie.

2. When a picture of Shitsburgh linebacker James Harrison flashed across the screen in the Sunday night game, I couldn’t quite figure out who he reminded me of. Suddenly, it hit me so hard I was almost as cross-eyed as Harrison for a second. Damon Wayans, Jim Carrey, and Jaime Foxx all got their start in the late 80s on a show called “In Living Color.” It was the funniest show on TV, and anyone who remembers it will agree. One of Foxx’s characters was named “LaWanda” or “Ugly Wanda” or something like that…anyway, throw a curly blonde wig on him, and Harrison is the spitting image of Jaime Foxx trying to be as ugly as possible.

3. Brown Stains’ QB Derek Anderson killed the teams’ hopes in that game by throwing an interception at the Squealers’ goal line in the waning moments of the first half. Somehow, he failed to see that ridiculous looking neanderthal-jungle man lurking in the secondary.

4.  This one isn’t quite as fun to hate on, because, well, all ‘yins hate him too.  Unfortunately for them, they’re stuck with him. So away we go.

5.  Here is safety Anthony Smith, the one who ran his mouth last year about the Steelers being better than the Patriots, right before the Pats smashed them 34-13.

Oh, and of course, Mike Tomlin = Omar Epps.

That’s all the ugliness we can take for now. As always, if you have any lookalikes of your own, send them to us at nestminder@bmorebirdsnest.com!

Lookalikes! Bung-holes Edition

November 26, 2008

(Note:  To see past editions of “Lookalikes,” including Browns and Steelers versions, click here)

This week the Ravens travel to Cincinnati to take on the hapless 1-9-1 Bengals.  We’ll get to the preview later in the week, but first we thought it would be the perfect time for some Bung-hole lookalikes!

First up, Sin-city-natti’s #1 resident thug, Mr. Chris Henry.  Henry, who trails only Adam “Pac-Man” Jones (not to be confused with Adam “Nap Man” Jones) in arrests over the past several years, has perplexed us for years over just what he reminds us of more:

1. A cute lil siamese cat?

or, 2. A scary ass space alien (full disclosure: I am a total alien-phobe)

Next up, we have a bunch of Bengals that could pose as body doubles for actors.   Offensive lineman Scott Kooistra is best known for his role as Cal Naughton Jr., alongside Will Ferrell in “Talladega Nights.”

Anybody watch the show Prison Break on FOX back before it completely jumped the shark?  In seasons 1 and 2, Bengals defensive end Josh Mallard played the role of psychiatric ward inmate, “Haywire.”

Not so much?  Ok, here’s a better one.  How about new Bengals’ QB Ryan Fitzpatrick?  The first time I saw his photo way back in week 5 or whenever it was, I immediately thought of Emile Hirsch.

And finally, an oldie but a goodie of injured Bung-holes gunslinger Carson Palmer.

Happy Turkey Day, and Go Ravens!

Lookalikes! Browns Edition

October 28, 2008

With the Ravens slated to play the Cleveland Brown Stains this Sunday (and hopefully complete the season sweep), we thought it would be a good time to trot out some Cleveland-inspired Lookalikes.

First up, from reader Sprizzle, who points out that former Ravens and current Browns QB Derek Anderson has a striking resemblance to the original white rap sensation, Vanilla Ice.

Good call, Sprizzle, and thanks for the submission!

Next, we have defensive tackle Shaun Rogers.  Rogers is playing great lately, and the Ravens O-line will need to control him to have any chance on Sunday.  But with his giant jowels and tiny cone-head, we can’t help but think of a certain childhood toy when we see him…

 

 

LOOKALIKES: ROMEO CRENNEL EDITION

Unlike the Squealers, the Browns don’t have all that many totally goofy looking players on their roster.  However, lucky for us, head coach Romeo Crennel can fill a Lookalikes post all by his lonesome:

 

 As always, if you have any Lookalikes of your own, send them to nestminder@bmorebirdsnest.com, and we will try to feature them in a future post!

Lookalikes!

September 15, 2008

It’s time for another edition of Lookalikes! This is going to be an All-Squealer version, because….well, because those are the stupidest looking bunch of goofs in the entire NFL.

1. You ever watch that big dummy QB of theirs play in the rain? He has to wear a big, gay, glove. We’re not sayin Ben runs a youth football league out of his bedroom backyard, but the similarities are eerie.

2. When a picture of Shitsburgh linebacker James Harrison flashed across the screen in the Sunday night game, I couldn’t quite figure out who he reminded me of. Suddenly, it hit me so hard I was almost as cross-eyed as Harrison for a second. Damon Wayans, Jim Carrey, and Jaime Foxx all got their start in the late 80s on a show called “In Living Color.” It was the funniest show on TV, and anyone who remembers it will agree. One of Foxx’s characters was named “LaWanda” or “Ugly Wanda” or something like that…anyway, throw a curly blonde wig on him, and Harrison is the spitting image of Jaime Foxx trying to be as ugly as possible.

3. Brown Stains’ QB Derek Anderson killed the teams’ hopes in that game by throwing an interception at the Squealers’ goal line in the waning moments of the first half. Somehow, he failed to see that ridiculous looking neanderthal-jungle man lurking in the secondary.

That’s all the ugliness we can take for now. As always, if you have any lookalikes of your own, send them to us at nestminder@bmorebirdsnest.com!

Lookalikes!

September 9, 2008

Hey there, B’More fans!

Loyal reader Phil(atio) suggested a new idea for the site. He calls it “lookalikes” and he even submitted the first few to get us started.

Here are his contributions:

1.  Our new QB savior in B’More looks a bit like former “Man Show” host Adam Carolla, no?


2.  In case you don’t recognize him, that’s Squealers’ Kicker Jeff Reed on the left, and his brethren on the right.  Kickers should be a bit more humble, douchebag.

3.  And finally, we have Shitsburgh wide receiver/cheap shot artist Hiney Ward, at the ESPYs this year.


That’s all of those for now. If you have any of your own, feel free to send them in!
nestminder@bmorebirdsnest.com


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