Goob is in the holiday spirit this week, as he is still giving away TWO SMARTPHONES. He also takes a look at the Christmas lists of some NFL players and commentators, as they post up on the lap of good ol’ Kris Kringle.
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Another week, another opponent, another set of re-imagined logos. In what has quickly become a reader favorite here at the Nest, this time around we try to come up with some more appropriate helmets for the San Diego Chargers…
Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers is only 30 years old, but the guy already has quite a brood – SIX KIDS! He married his high school sweetheart back when he was still in college at NC State, and apparently got right to work. This first helmet pays tribute to the man’s impressive virility:
(In case you couldn’t tell, yes, that’s a sperm with Rivers’ head on it…and it’s zig-zaggy like a lightning bolt. Zing!)
Rivers, while widely considered an elite quarterback in the NFL, has nonetheless had his struggles this season. His team is a very mediocre 6-7, he’s second in the league with 17 interceptions, and he had that horrible fumble that cost his team a loss to the lowly Chiefs. Maybe this helmet is more representative of his 2011 season:
Of course, it’s not all Phil’s fault that the Chargers have struggled. Somehow, coach Norv Turner manages to take an extremely talented team and make them mediocre year after year. This logo’s for you, Norv:
Combine Norv’s ineptitude and Phil’s struggles, and what do you get? One shitstorm of a Chargers team:
When one thinks of San Diego, the first thing to come to mind is probably great weather and palm trees. After that though, most will think of the 2004 Will Ferrell film, Anchorman, which was set in SoCal. These last two designs are a tip of the cap to Anchorman, San Diego’s answer to Baltimore’s “The Wire.”
The Chargers are no joke at the moment though. They’ve picked up their game these last several weeks, and the Ravens will have their hands full. Let’s hope they can bring 11-3 back from the West Coast.
In this week’s Ravens-Chargers preview, Goob sips tropical drinks, hangs out on the beach, and lets an old friend who’s down on his luck audition for a job.
Colts fans would sure like to forget the 2011 season as quickly as possible. That’s why we at B’More Birds’ Nest, in order to make sure that doesn’t happen, have done our best “weird commemorative plate commercial” impression and put together some commemorative logos to make sure they never, never forget the season that they (hopefully) became just the second 0-16 team in NFL history.
Colts fans can make all of these favorites their own:
What a bunch of zeroes!
When Indy comes to town this Sunday, the Ravens hope to “beat a dead horse!” ZING!
This next one is a bit morbid, we know, but it’s the logical next step from the previous “dead horse” logo…
Indy fans (or, “Fat Humps” as the boys over at Kissing Suzy Kolber have taken to calling them) don’t drown their sorrows in booze after losing every week. No, they cheer themselves up with that midwestern favorite, Steak ‘n Shake! To honor that, this helmet should turn all those fat hump frowns upside down:
Finally, let’s all remember the reason this is all happening….
(or, more accurately:)
…and the light at the end of the tunnel…
Woof, that’s one ugly light.
Fat Humps: In order to receive your own commemorative 2011 Colts helmets, simply print out this page, cut out your favorites, and use the product shown on helmet #3 to attach them to your finest china. Proceed to slide the now timeless paper plate underneath your favorite order from the design on helmet #4!
Feel free to use them as you watch the Ravens beat the tar out of your team this weekend!
Here’s Goob with his Week 14 preview, featuring some Dan Orlovsky/Randy Edsall hate (you’ll see), a Peyton Manning thumb puppet, and a discount double check!
It’s bad enough that one team in the AFC North can only afford to put logos on one side of their helmet.
Then you have the Cleveland Browns, who can’t be bothered to slap even a single logo on their lids, thus sporting the most boring look in the NFL. Sure, we get it, it’s a classic look, blah, blah, blah…
In today’s football world, that crap doesn’t fly any more. Look at college football…teams like Oregon and Maryland come up with something new and beautiful/hideous every week. Even such sacred looks as the Notre Dame “golden domes” got spiced up a bit in 2011.
In that spirit, we think it’s high time the Browns get with it and jazz things up. We even have a few suggestions!
Variations of this next one were suggested by just about everyone we polled on Twitter (@BMoreBirdsNest), including @B_MoreFanatic, @Spradlinn, and @mikehen08.
@FranLangley thinks Cleveland’s biggest celebrity mascot, Drew Carey, would look good…
This next one, suggested by @DTaylorEvoX, seems mean spirited at first…
But when you think about it, what would get Cleveland fans more fired up than seeing a sad LeBron James face on their teams’ uniforms? Hell, it would be a great distraction from the Browns’ play on the field.
“Man, our team sucks.”
“Yeah, but at least LeBron was sad that one time!”
“Oh, hell yeah!”
Twitter follower @Montego335xi took things a step further than just suggesting logos, going as far as to create and submit his own:
The Cleveland James Browns:
The Cleveland Charlie Browns:
Or the Cleveland Hash Browns:
Feel free to use any of these awesome designs, Browns! And feel free to keep sucking, please, especially when you play the Ravens (by all means, though, please beat the everloving Browns out of the Steelers!)
When Drew Carey took over “The Price is Right” hosting duties from the legendary Bob Barker, that was all Goob needed to forever hate that place. Did you see the Cleveland fan that posted a video yelling at Browns Stadium for being a “factory of sadness?” Well, we think the stadium deserves a chance to respond!
trades in his beer is double fisted this week, with a turkey leg to go along with his signature beer-in-hand, as he brings you a preview of Thanksgiving night’s Ravens-49ers “Harbowl!”
Feast your eyes on some Goobvision.
In this week’s GOOBVISION, Goob scores an exclusive interview with Bengals’ quarterback Andy Dalton, watches Pac-Man Jones make it rain, and enjoys a smooth Natty Boh.
Want more information about T-Sizzle’s Alma mater, Ball So Hard University? Look no further….