Archive for April, 2008

Girl Attacked by Steamed Crab. Her name? Jen Roethlisberger

April 4, 2008

Just when you thought the world of animals and sports couldn’t get any weirder…

Right on the heels of this story about 13 year old Alexa Rodriguez being attacked by a red-tailed hawk at Fenway Park in Boston, comes this freaky and disturbing story out of B-More:

Baltimore, Md. – A 15 year old girl that was having dinner with her family was pinched by a dead blue crab, drawing blood from her nose.

While the girl was not seriously injured, some observers at Philips, the Baltimore Seafood restaurant where the incident occurred, noted that a girl such as herself may be better off staying away from the town. The girl’s name is Jen Roethlisberger.

Jen and her family had sat down to enjoy a table full of steamed blue crabs, a Maryland staple. But when Jen picked up her first crab of the night and tried to start picking the meat from it, the crab jerked in her hand, as if still alive, and latched onto her nose. Her father worked quickly to pry the claw off the girl’s nose, but blood had already been drawn.

So was the crab still alive? Was its spirit haunting the room attempting to get back at its killers? How could a crab that had been dead and cooked do such a thing?

Local biologist Dan McQuade gave his insight: “No, no, I don’t think there were crab ghosts or anything like that,” he said. “Have you ever seen on the crime shows where a murder victim continues to twitch even after they are dead due to nerves firing? Well, crabs have nervous systems as well, and in rare cases, they can also fire after death.”

But after being steamed for half an hour?

“I have to admit, that’s a new one by me,” said Cockerham.

Roethlisberger was able to finish the meal with her family, albeit with a band-aid on her nose. Also, her mother had to pick all of her crabs for her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever try to pick a crab again,” Jen told us. “Its crab cakes for me from now on.”

photo: I think I have to put this and this

Record Low Crowd Watches O's Big Comeback

April 3, 2008

Birds at .500!

Last night the O’s pulled off an exciting come from behind victory against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, and evened up their record at 1-1. Tonight they attempt to go for the unfathomable and get above .500. All kidding aside, it was a good night at the Yard, which is a bit of a shame in a way, because….

O’s Break Record for Smallest Crowd at OPACY History

The attendance of 10,505 was the lowest in stadium history, beating the old mark by nearly 3000! Actually, if just 57 fewer people had showed up, the record would have been broken by an even 2,632 (Cal Ripken Jr.’s consecutive games played streak, in case that number isn’t ringing a bell for ya)! O’s fans are much more creative and witty than the media gives them credit for, and this was obviously simply an attempt to protest that Peter Angelose sell the team to Cal!

Sell to Rip-ken!

(clap clap clapclapclap)

Sell to Rip-ken!

Nice try, O’s faithful.

But I digress….

Huff Homers….Still gets Booed

Aubrey Huff proved that he still has no problem hitting off Tampa Bay pitching, homering and adding a two-run triple to give the Birds the W. Hopefully, this is a sign of things to come from Aubrey, and he won’t be going through his usual excruciatingly slow start to the season. A quick start will be the best way for the majority of O’s fans to get over all this ugliness from the past off season. What do you think, though, Nestgoers? Will you be cheering Mr. Huff at all this season, regardless of his numbers? Tell us in the poll above, or in comments below.

DCab A Mess. In other News, Hell is still hot.

Danny Cabrera continued his woes from spring training, walking 5 batters and giving up 6 earned runs, while throwing 94 pitches, in just 4+ innings of work. The enigma continues. Cabrera, unfortunately, has given us no indications this spring that he is anywhere near “putting it all together,” like we have all been waiting for him to do for what seems like eons.

Bullpen Great, Right on Schedule to Wear out by July

On the bright side of things, the bad start by DCab was quickly overshadowed by continued dominance from the O’s bullpen, who now have not allowed a run in 7 2/3 innings of work over the first two games. Manager Dave Trembley would certainly prefer his starters to think about keeping their pitch counts down enough to work a few more innings though, as averaging nearly 4 innings per game from his bullpen is surely not a trend that can be sustained with any success.

The O’s look to take the series from Tampa Bay tonight, with the Seattle Mariners and Erik Bedard coming to town for 4 this weekend.

O's Opening Day = Just Another Reason to Get Drunk…

April 1, 2008

After nearly 6 full months since the last regular season game at Camden Yards, the O’s kicked off the season with a Loss yesterday in the rain to the, soon to be arch rivals, Tampa Bay Rays.  You can basically forget about the Red Sox and Yankees fans, because in a short period of time we’re going to get a “Rays Nest” in Oriole Park.  They’ll probably make their home about mid-May once the orioles are a steady 20 games under .500 and they’ll probably hold signs up like, “Baltimore: A Rays Fan’s Home away from Home”.  And who knows, by the All Star Break they’ll probably outnumber us up there.  While Angelos continues to destroy the city of Baltimore’s Baseball Dreams, the fans are becoming less and less like…

 Old Orioles fans and they’re becoming more like…


My how the times have changed.  And while most of you know this, I’d like to share with you just how I experienced opening day. 

I worked till 5.  Then went to the bar, where at around 8 pm I met my friend who skipped out on Opening Day this year for the first time since 2002.  He said he had his reasons, but when I asked him to describe it to me he stated, “Dude, you’ve never been?? Man, we wouldn’t even go into the game till the 7th inning.”  I said, “You guys must’ve been wasted by then” he nodded his head but then I asked why he even bothered to go into the game at that point?? He responded with, “Honestly?  I dunno, I usually didn’t remember much after that point of the day.”

Yesterday’s game was all but over by the 7th inning, and by 8:00 at the bar, a bus of rowdy O’s fans came crawling in (some of them literally were crawling).

There were about 20 O’s fans, guys outnumbered the girls 3:1, but the girls were no more sober.  Every one of them was hammered, some of them were less drunk to the point that they could make fun of the really drunk ones, like the guys who looked as if they were playing plinko with their bodies as they tried to make it to the bar.  After listening to them tell stories about how my buddy, who didn’t go to the game, was a (insert multiple expletives here), I asked one of them what the score was.  He responded with, “Who f*$%#n cares!”.  The follow up question was Who won?  Followed by a quick, almost programmed response of “Not the Orioles”.  They couldn’t name the score or what happened in the game but they knew the Orioles lost.  “Opening Day Tradition!” they chanted at one point, and I thought to myself… None of these people went to work today and most of them probably would not attend work tomorrow.  All this and they didn’t even know what happened in Baltimore at Camden Yards that day.

There was one spirited discussion about the game.  Two drunk guys wrestled each other to the bar room floor as they argued over who the Orioles played that day.  Whether it was the “Tampon Bay Gays or the Tampon Bay She-Devil Gays.”  Clearly the “She-Devil Gays” lobbyist was out of touch.  Needless to say, they probably spent plenty of money on beer down at Pickles’ Bar and then possibly snuck in a flask or water bottle filled with Vodka and tried to start a fight with the Rays’ Nest.  One guy actually described to me how much he liked to fight.  Which was followed up with the story of how last year he tried to fight off the cops putting him in hand cuffs.

Baltimore is this what our baseball team is coming to?  Just another excuse to get drunk?  People can’t even take going to the games anymore, as they’d rather not be invested in a team that loses 100 games. 

As we mop up the AL East basement this year, hopefully some light will shine, hopefully we can keep Markakis, get some young talent in here and build a future so that those bars that have “$1 Miller Lite during O’s games” specials, can actually make their money’s worth.  We look forward to the day when you can count on buying standing room only seats to games if you show up to the ticket window on game day… not just against the Yanks, Sawx… or soon to be… Rays.


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