Last Minute Monday Night Updates

Some late breaking news on tonight’s match-up in Pittsburgh, all of it bad for the Ravens:

1. Samari Rolle is out yet again with another recurrence of his “undisclosed illness.” Rolle, who earned the nickname “Sorry Rolle” from some Ravens fans in 2006 due to his dismal play, has given us motivation to coin his 2007 moniker, “SARSi Rolle.”

2. Chris McAlister will not play, as the severe knee sprain he suffered against St. Louis is not 100%.

3. Although he has practiced, Todd Heap is being called a “game-time decision,” with a still sore hamstring.

4. The Ravens’ most dangerous offensive weapon, K Matt Stover has evidently suffered a thigh bruise to his kicking leg, and did not practice Saturday night.

5. Finally, the latest weather report for tonight in Squealtown is mid-40’s and rainy, with 15 mph winds. While conventional wisdom says the poor conditions could help neutralize the Steelers’ big advantage in the passing game, we Ravens fans know that our purple and black, much like rapper Missy Elliott, “Can’t Stand the Rain.” Look no further than last year’s losses in Denver and Cincinnati, if you need a reminder.

There you have it, a “Perfect Storm” of bad news for the Ravens. We won’t back down from our previously predicted 20-17 win, but the Guru Crew certainly has their work cut out for them.
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